My suitcase wasn’t even unpacked from my maternal grandmother’s funeral when I got the call about my dad’s mom: “Grandma has been in bed all week. We’re driving down tomorrow to say goodbye.”
I do realize the extravagance of this gift I’ve been given, having grandparents I’ve known into adulthood. I feel almost guilty grieving these losses, like someone in Hawaii complaining about the winter.
And yet grief is so rarely a rational animal. There is little comfort in comparing wounds, no balm in “at-leasting” them.At least I had her so long. At least she went peacefully. At least she’s no longer suffering. It may be true, but it does little to erase the loss.
Grandma celebrated her 102nd birthday this summer, but her mind remained as bright as ever. Whenever I visited, I perused the books on her end table: mysteries, historical fiction, chunky nonfiction titles. As I listened to her delineate the tactical strategies from her recent World War II read, I found myself shaking my head, hoping to be as well read when I grow up.
Books are, after all, how she and I became friends. I knew her as my grandma my whole life, of course, but with twelve children and a gaggle of grandchildren, she always had a lot of voices clamoring for her attention.
One summer when I was in junior high, we went to her and Grandpa’s condo to swim, and she noticed the copy of Anne of Green Gables under my arm. I told her about Anne, the book’s spunky red-haired heroine. Before long, I was passing along the entire series to her (and eventually to Grandpa too) when I finished each one. As we had our own informal book club over the course of eight books, I realized how much of Anne I saw in my grandma: both were gingers who had lost parents young and had come out resilient (and a little fiery) on the other side. Both were lovers of literature who got an education at a time when not many women did. Both took a legacy of loss and wrote a redemptive story for the generations after them.
Grandma’s story could have been a book itself. I think about the vignettes I’ve heard over the years—how she met Grandpa in college just before the war, how she waited and prayed for his return after he enlisted, how he mailed her a parachute so she could use the silk for her wedding dress, how they got married on a Tuesday right before Lent (so they wouldn’t have to wait until after Easter), how she and Grandpa had a dozen kids in 14 years, how she lived independently (and read independently) until past the century mark.
She didn’t see herself as a heroine, but then again, aren’t all the real heroes the ones who don’t realize it? “Oh, honey,” she’d tell me, “I just did what I had to do.” On every page, her life was marked by humility and grit.
But perhaps more than anything, she didn’t see herself as heroic because she knew she was part of a larger story. And she knew the Author who was writing it:
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Psalm 139:16
Grandma, your final chapter is over here on earth. But your story on the other side is just beginning. Only this time you get to read the book before I do.
You were never one to spoil an ending, but I’m pretty sure the story you’re living now in is the grandest one of all. In this story, there’s a happily ever after, but no “the end.”
I don’t know exactly what the literary scene looks like in heaven. But I’m putting in a special request to be in your book club just in case.
Hope . . . makes possible our ability to recognize that the world in which we find ourselves has a story; and if there’s a story, there’s a storyteller. Stanley Hauerwas
When I was pregnant, everyone warned me about a newborn’s eating schedule. “You will feel like you’re feeding this kid around the clock,” they said. But no one told me about the unexpected perk of being confined to a chair for approximately 1/3 of your life during those first few months: you get to read oh-so-many books.
One of my favorite books during the newborn season wasn’t specifically about parenthood, but it felt especially timely, as it helped me reframe the simple, ordinary things I was doing as having spiritual significance.
No matter what season of life you find yourself in, I invite you to join me in reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. We will be discussing the book in August (and there will be a free book for one lucky commenter!).
Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:
In the overlooked moments and routines of our day, we can become aware of God’s presence in surprising ways. How do we embrace the sacred in the ordinary and the ordinary in the sacred?
Framed around one ordinary day, this book explores daily life through the lens of liturgy, small practices, and habits that form us. Each chapter looks at something―making the bed, brushing her teeth, losing her keys―that the author does every day. Drawing from the diversity of her life as a campus minister, Anglican priest, friend, wife, and mother, Tish Harrison Warren opens up a practical theology of the everyday. Each activity is related to a spiritual practice as well as an aspect of our Sunday worship.
Happy Friday, everyone! Here are some of my recent favorites, from unusual vending machines to fictional hot chocolate recipes to the funniest things I’ve seen this week.
For anyone who has found themselves with time to kill in an airport . . .
Believe it or not, there are vending machines that spit out short stories for those times when you’re waiting around and in need of some mental stimulation. They originated in France, but apparently there are now some in the US too. I want to find one! Vending Machines Dispense Short Stories Instead of Snacks
For anyone who needs cheering up in this winter weather . . .
These book character inspired hot chocolate recipes will warm you up inside and out. I especially enjoyed the Mr. Darcy recipe and the one about Katniss Everdeen. Hot Chocolate Recipes Based on Fictional Characters
For anyone who wonders if they’re doing this parenting thing right . . .
I’m only a few months into this mommy gig, but that’s long enough for me to second-guess myself approximately eleven times within the hour. These tongue-in-cheek charts cracked me up and reminded me that I’m not alone. Parenting Explained in 5 Simple Graphs
For anyone who needs a laugh . . .
My goal for this year is to laugh more (and to give the people in my life more opportunities to laugh), so I was delighted to find this satirical post: The Proverbs 32 Man.
Happy Friday! Here are some of my recent favorite finds. Hope you enjoy them!
For anyone who is a spelling bee wannabe . . .
In honor of the Scripps National Spelling Bee last week, here’s a look at the most commonly misspelled words by state. I’m found Wisconsin’s error of choice particularly amusing. America’s Most Misspelled Words
For anyone who wants to read the classics but doesn’t have time . . .
If Oliver Twist has been on your to-read list for some time now, never fear: now you can get the ultra Cliffs Notes version in the form of an entertaining limerick. Classic Literature Limericks
For anyone who wants to do things “by the book” . . .
As I prepare for motherhood, I admit that I’ve been reading all sorts of books in an attempt to figure out the best strategies. But sometimes I need to step back and remember that there’s going to be an element of mystery and surprise in every big life change. This hysterical article compiles all the contradictory baby sleep advice in one place. I Read All the Baby Sleep Advice Books
For my fellow word lovers our there . . .
You might be surprised to discover that the most complicated word in the English language is only three letters long. The Most Complicated Word in English
For anyone in need of a dose of hope . . .
Professor Bruininks has studied hope for years, and her findings are at once fascinating and encouraging. “Fear and hope do not appear to be two sides of a coin but rather can occur together.” Why Even Pessimists Can Embrace Hope
Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Road Back to You! If you missed it, it’s not too late to join our discussion about personalities, deadly sins, and the Enneagram.
Congratulations to Allyson, the lucky winner of a free book! (Allyson, I’ll contact you privately about getting the book to you.)
And now . . . announcing the next book club selection! Fiction is up this time, and since it’s summer, I thought a young adult title was in order (although, as a fair warning, it’s not necessarily a beach read).
We’ll be reading A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness and discussing in July. Two fellow book lovers recommended the book to me, and I’m eager to hear what the buzz is about.
Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:
The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.
But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming . . .
This monster is something different, though. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor.
It wants the truth.
We’ll be discussing the book in July—and remember, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Hope you will join us!
Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.
And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!
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I am a geek about personality types of all kinds—Myers-Briggs, the five love languages, even what your coffee selection says about your reading style. So suffice it to say I was fairly giddy when I starting hearing buzz about the Enneagram. A type system with a spiritual twist? Sign me up already! But the books I read just didn’t seem to click for me. I found myself unsure of my number (whatever that was) and confused about how this applied to my life.
Until I found The Road Back to You. This was the book I’d been looking for—one that brought the Enneagram from an esoteric level into real life. Ever since, I’ve been urging as many people as possible to read it—if only so we can share the same lingo (“Oh, that’s definitely what a 2 would do!” or “She must be a 7!”).
Discussion #1: The Spiritual Implications
One thing I found unique (and at times squirm-inducing) is that unlike other personality tests, the Enneagram doesn’t just pat you on the back and say, “Aww, you’re a golden retriever! Good for you! You are special!” It focuses not only on your strengths but also on your proclivity to sin. It’s not just about what you do but why you do it—your deeper motivations.
As I read, I found myself doing some gut-level introspection. Why do I do this? Why do I fall into this cycle with my loved one? And while this was convicting and at times uncomfortable, it was a growing experience for me to dig into parts of myself I take for granted and open my eyes to the unique temptations I face based on the way I’m wired.
To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around.
Brother Dave
Did you learn anything about yourself as you read this book? Did you buy the concept of the Enneagram—that each type has certain strengths but is also driven by a particular sin?
Discussion #2: What’s Your Number?
One thing that surprised me about the Enneagram is that it wasn’t a straightforward process to determine my number. With other personality tests, I tend to get pretty consistent results, but in this case I took several different tests and got several different numbers. After doing some research, I found that this is not uncommon. And according to people much more well versed in the Enneagram than I am, the wrestling you go through on your way to discovering your number is actually an important part of the process. It forces us to dig deeper into who we really are and what makes us tick.
After back-and-forthing for a while, I think I’m a 6 (the Loyalist), which means my besetting sin is fear. I read somewhere that the description that makes you most uncomfortable is probably the one you are, and that sounds about right!
The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.
Frederick Buechner
What do you think your number is? Do you think it’s possible for people’s number to change over time?
Discussion #3: Diagnosing Other People
I know, I know—the authors urged us to worry more about our own number than other people’s, but I can’t help but diagnose everyone I meet now! Anyone with me? This may have downsides (I don’t want to box anyone in), but overall I’ve found the Enneagram to be helpful in understanding the people I love. When I can see what life is like through the lens of their unique disposition, I have more empathy and more ability to understand what they act the way they do.
For me to be a saint means to be myself.
Thomas Merton
Do you find yourself trying to type other people too? Has this book given you any insights into the people you love?
Rating
I would give this book 5 stars—not because it’s a literary masterpiece but because it has prompted hours of the good kind of introspection and some really meaningful conversations with friends. I recommend that you read it and then loan it to a friend. Then go get a big cup of coffee together and talk about until you get kicked out of the coffee shop!
If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I also recommend the podcast that goes along with the book.
Remember: I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!
Hi everyone! Happy Friday. Here are a few of my recent favorites for this month. Enjoy!
For anyone whose spring break was lackluster (or nonexistent) . . .
Maybe you can’t enter the pages of a book, but you can visit these real-life places that inspired some famous novels! I can see why Moseley Bog would have sparked Tolkien’s creativity. And anyone else want to visit Ashdown Forest with me? 9 Real Life Places That Inspired Famous Classic Novels
For anyone in need of an extra dose of happy . . .
How happy can a word be? Someone did a study that assigned happiness quotients to some 10,000 words. See if this list doesn’t make you a little happier, just from reading it! The 200 Happiest Words in Literature
For anyone who geeks out about stats or books (or stats about books) . . .
I found this article about author’s favorite words fascinating. Find out which writers gravitated toward mauve, cinnamon, and civility. What’s your word of choice? What Famous Writers’ Most-Used Words Say about Them
For anyone who would have written their story a little differently than it’s playing out . . .
So often I start my story in the wrong place. And I wish I could edit it, even though I don’t have the whole picture: “This story starts with our perfect God. Immeasurable. Incalculable. Incomprehensible. Every story starts with Him. And He is writing each one with the aim of pointing to his glory. Every single one. Even the ones I probably would have written differently.” Perfect Start, Perfect End
For anyone who wonders how to live extraordinary in the middle of ordinary . . .
How do you live out a radical faith right where you are—going to work, mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, raising kids? This book is an authentic, humorous, and inspiring look at how to practice things like simplicity, hospitality, and social justice in the context of real life. Highly recommended! The Year of Small Things
Every time my grandmother sees me, she asks, with a twinkle in her eye, “How many book clubs are you in now, dear?”
It’s a valid question.
At any given time, I am most likely participating in between three and four book clubs: my virtual book club on this blog, a book club at work, my Sunday evening book club, and the occasional temporary book club with friends.
Now that I spell it all out like that, it does sound like a bit of a problem.
Every year in October, my Sunday evening book club has a tradition of dressing up like a book character, and the rest of us try to guess the book. This year I was feeling uninspired by our selections from the past year, and I was lamenting my lack of ideas to Daniel. That’s when he came up with this ingenious idea: to dress up as myself.
Here’s a picture of my wonderful book club friends. (You’ll also notice costumes from The Snow Child, A Man Called Ove, and The Goldfinch, plus my aunt in an apron from some unspecified book).
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If your book club is interested in reading my book and having me talk to your group, I’d be happy to participate, either in person or via Skype! Just send me a message through this site, and we can talk about details. Happy reading, everyone!
Happy Friday, everyone! Here are a few of my recent favorite finds, from literary costumes to the most popular book the year you were born to the oldest picture book. Enjoy!
For anyone still looking for a Halloween costume . . .
These literary-themed costumes are adorable (and some aren’t that hard to pull off). Will someone please try the Curious George/Man with the Yellow Hat combination? 19 Book-Inspired Halloween Costumes for Kids and Adults
The oldest picture book for children dates back to the 1600s and featured—believe it or not—animal sounds! I guess some things don’t change. (Although apparently animal noises do: 17th-century ducks said kah kah, and chickens said pi pi.) The Very First Picture Book
For anyone who has pinned a pretty verse on Pinterest . . .
This post is simultaneously hilarious and sobering. “Beware the Instagram Bible, my daughters—those filtered frames festooned with feathered verses, adorned in all manner of loops and tails, bedecked with blossoms, saturated with sunsets, culled and curated just for you…” The Instagram Bible
For anyone who has wondered about the mystery of marriage . . .
This post is a poignant and honest glimpse into one couple’s relationship: “Marriage is not one + one = two. It isn’t even one + one = one. Marriage is (one – one) + (one – one) = one.” The Strange Math of Marriage
Thanks to everyone who read and/or discussed our last book club about Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. Congratulations to Cindy, the lucky commenter who won a free book! (Cindy, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)
And now . . . announcing the next virtual book club title: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert! Here’s the publisher’s description:
Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives. Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work, embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion, Big Magic cracks open a world of wonder and joy.
We will be discussing the book in November—I hope you can join us!Remember: there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter!
When I was pregnant, everyone warned me about a newborn’s eating schedule. “You will feel like you’re feeding this kid around the clock,” they said. But no one told me about the unexpected perk of being confined to a chair for approximately 1/3 of your life during those first few months: you get to read oh-so-many books.
Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on 
hen he came up with this ingenious idea: to dress up as myself.
Thanks to everyone who read and/or discussed our last book club about