Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Announcing the Book Club Selection for This Summer: Liturgy of the Ordinary

When I was pregnant, everyone warned me about a newborn’s eating schedule. “You will feel like you’re feeding this kid around the clock,” they said. But no one told me about the unexpected perk of being confined to a chair for approximately 1/3 of your life during those first few months: you get to read oh-so-many books.

One of my favorite books during the newborn season wasn’t specifically about parenthood, but it felt especially timely, as it helped me reframe the simple, ordinary things I was doing as having spiritual significance.

No matter what season of life you find yourself in, I invite you to join me in reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. We will be discussing the book in August (and there will be a free book for one lucky commenter!).

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

In the overlooked moments and routines of our day, we can become aware of God’s presence in surprising ways. How do we embrace the sacred in the ordinary and the ordinary in the sacred?

Framed around one ordinary day, this book explores daily life through the lens of liturgy, small practices, and habits that form us. Each chapter looks at something―making the bed, brushing her teeth, losing her keys―that the author does every day. Drawing from the diversity of her life as a campus minister, Anglican priest, friend, wife, and mother, Tish Harrison Warren opens up a practical theology of the everyday. Each activity is related to a spiritual practice as well as an aspect of our Sunday worship.

Come and discover the holiness of your every day.

Join us in August for our online book discussion!

Book Discussion: A Monster Calls

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

This book was suggested to me by the same person who recommended A Man Called Ove. She has never steered me wrong when it comes to the literary decisions of life, so I tend to pull out a pen whenever she starts talking books. This book was out of my typical genre, but it didn’t disappoint. I’ve already recommended it to several people who are dealing with loss or grief at some level.

Discussion #1: The power of story

From the outset, this book is about grief and loss—the real monsters in the book. But it wasn’t a downer like I was expecting: it felt real and fresh and even witty at times, while not minimizing grief. One thing I really liked was how Conor dealt with his grief through stories:

Stories are important. They can be more important than anything. If they carry the truth.

How have stories helped you deal with something difficult in your life? Are there certain kinds of stories that tend to bring healing for you?

Discussion #2: Dealing with grief

I appreciated that Conor’s grief wasn’t sugarcoated or glossed over. It seems like as adults we sometimes try to protect kids from pain, and while this comes from a good motivation, it means that they end up stuffing their grief instead of dealing with it. As scary as the monster seems at first, he is the one who ultimately helps Conor unleash the truth about his feelings.

There is power in speaking the truth. We must tell the truth in order to heal.

Are you someone who tends to deal with hard situations head on, or do you lean more toward denial or anger? What “monsters” have helped you face the truth about how you’re feeling?

Discussion #3: Knowing when to let go

One of the things that tortures Conor most about his mother’s death is that he feels guilty for letting her go—for simultaneously wishing she’d live and wanting to be free from the pain of living in the not-knowing.

I didn’t mean to let her go! And now it’s for real! Now she’s going to die and it’s my fault!

When have you had to let go of something or someone? What conflicting feelings did you have about that . . . not wanting to lose them but also wanting the suffering to be over?

Discussion #4: Writing someone else’s book

I found it fascinating that another author, Siobhan Dowd, came up with the idea for this book first and then Patrick Ness ended up writing it. Dowd came up with the concept for the novel during her own terminal illness but died before she could write it, and an editor who worked with both authors arranged for Ness to write the story. Patrick says he had a lot of freedom to make the book his own:

I always say it felt like a really private conversation between me and her, and that mostly it was me saying, “Just look what we’re getting away with.”

If you were writing a book and weren’t able to finish it, would you want someone else to complete the project for you?

Rating

I thought this book was a fascinating study on loss, and the characters all seemed real and live to me. I just discovered that there’s a movie out based on the book, and I’d be interested in seeing it. I’d give the book four stars.

How many stars would you give the book (out of five)?

Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Book Discussion: The Road Back to You

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I am a geek about personality types of all kinds—Myers-Briggs, the five love languages, even what your coffee selection says about your reading style. So suffice it to say I was fairly giddy when I starting hearing buzz about the Enneagram. A type system with a spiritual twist? Sign me up already! But the books I read just didn’t seem to click for me. I found myself unsure of my number (whatever that was) and confused about how this applied to my life.

Until I found The Road Back to You. This was the book I’d been looking for—one that brought the Enneagram from an esoteric level into real life. Ever since, I’ve been urging as many people as possible to read it—if only so we can share the same lingo (“Oh, that’s definitely what a 2 would do!” or “She must be a 7!”).

Discussion #1: The Spiritual Implications

One thing I found unique (and at times squirm-inducing) is that unlike other personality tests, the Enneagram doesn’t just pat you on the back and say, “Aww, you’re a golden retriever! Good for you! You are special!” It focuses not only on your strengths but also on your proclivity to sin. It’s not just about what you do but why you do it—your deeper motivations.

As I read, I found myself doing some gut-level introspection. Why do I do this? Why do I fall into this cycle with my loved one? And while this was convicting and at times uncomfortable, it was a growing experience for me to dig into parts of myself I take for granted and open my eyes to the unique temptations I face based on the way I’m wired.

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around.
Brother Dave

Did you learn anything about yourself as you read this book? Did you buy the concept of the Enneagram—that each type has certain strengths but is also driven by a particular sin?

Discussion #2: What’s Your Number?

One thing that surprised me about the Enneagram is that it wasn’t a straightforward process to determine my number. With other personality tests, I tend to get pretty consistent results, but in this case I took several different tests and got several different numbers. After doing some research, I found that this is not uncommon. And according to people much more well versed in the Enneagram than I am, the wrestling you go through on your way to discovering your number is actually an important part of the process. It forces us to dig deeper into who we really are and what makes us tick.

After back-and-forthing for a while, I think I’m a 6 (the Loyalist), which means my besetting sin is fear. I read somewhere that the description that makes you most uncomfortable is probably the one you are, and that sounds about right!

The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.
Frederick Buechner

What do you think your number is? Do you think it’s possible for people’s number to change over time?

Discussion #3: Diagnosing Other People

I know, I know—the authors urged us to worry more about our own number than other people’s, but I can’t help but diagnose everyone I meet now! Anyone with me? This may have downsides (I don’t want to box anyone in), but overall I’ve found the Enneagram to be helpful in understanding the people I love. When I can see what life is like through the lens of their unique disposition, I have more empathy and more ability to understand what they act the way they do.

For me to be a saint means to be myself.
Thomas Merton

Do you find yourself trying to type other people too? Has this book given you any insights into the people you love?

Rating

I would give this book 5 stars—not because it’s a literary masterpiece but because it has prompted hours of the good kind of introspection and some really meaningful conversations with friends. I recommend that you read it and then loan it to a friend. Then go get a big cup of coffee together and talk about until you get kicked out of the coffee shop!

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I also recommend the podcast that goes along with the book.

Remember: I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Announcing the Virtual Book Club for April: The Road Back to You

Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Trouble with Goats and Sheep. We talked about whether you’re a goat or a sheep, the awkwardness of preadolescent friendships, and the neighborhood snoop in all of us.

Congratulations to Elizabeth, the lucky commenter who will win a free book! (Elizabeth, I’ll send you a separate message about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the selection for April! (I like to alternate between fiction and nonfiction, so nonfiction is up this time.) We’ll be reading The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. I have been hearing oh. so. much. about the Enneagram lately, and I wanted to find out more. I started the book already, and I am hooked—I think you will be too.

Here is the publisher’s description from the back of the book:

Ignorance is bliss―except in self-awareness. What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you and your relationships―and even keep you in the shallows with God. Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you’re stuck in the same ruts?

The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively. In The Road Back to You, Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile forge a unique approach―a practical, comprehensive way of accessing Enneagram wisdom and exploring its connections with Christian spirituality for a deeper knowledge of ourselves, compassion for others, and love for God.

Witty and filled with stories, this book allows you to peek inside each of the nine Enneagram types, keeping you turning the pages long after you have read the chapter about your own number. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people’s eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do.

Beginning with changes you can start making today, the wisdom of the Enneagram can help take you further along into who you really are―leading you into places of spiritual discovery you would never have found on your own, and paving the way to the wiser, more compassionate person you want to become.

I hope to hear your thoughts on the book in April! Meanwhile, happy reading!

{Remember: I give away a free book to one lucky commenter, so be sure to join us!}

Announcing the November Book Club: Big Magic

big magicThanks to everyone who read and/or discussed our last book club about Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. Congratulations to Cindy, the lucky commenter who won a free book! (Cindy, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the next virtual book club title: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert! Here’s the publisher’s description:

Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives. Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work, embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion, Big Magic cracks open a world of wonder and joy.

We will be discussing the book in November—I hope you can join us! Remember: there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter!

Book Club Discussion: Circling the Sun

Circling the SunFor this edition of our virtual book club, we’re discussing Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. It’s easy to participate: just add your thoughts about the discussion questions (or anything else you’d like to talk about) in the comment section below.

This book started out with so much promise: it’s beautifully written, and the scenes of the Kenyan landscape come to life off the pages. I also found myself intrigued by a time and place I didn’t know much about: 1920s colonial Kenya. Unfortunately, there was one significant deal breaker for me: I just didn’t like the main character. It was painful to watch Beryl make choice after choice that imploded her life, and after a while, even though I felt sorry for her, I just couldn’t bring myself to keep cheering for her. I slogged my way through the second half of the book.

Discussion #1: Beryl as a flawed character

What intrigued me most when I picked up this book was the angle of Beryl’s cross-cultural experiences, as well as her accomplishments as a woman in the ’20s. She made history as a racehorse trainer and a pilot—two professions that were pretty countercultural for a woman of her time. But so much of the book focused on her affairs and poor relational choices that those events overshadowed the rest of her story.

“We’re all of us afraid of many things, but if you make yourself smaller or let your fear confine you, then you really aren’t your own person at all—are you? The real question is whether or not you will risk what it takes to be happy.”

The irony is that Beryl risks everything to find happiness but ends up profoundly unhappy. I’m not sure she ever comes to realize she’s been chasing the wrong things all along.

What did you think of Beryl? Did you find her likable? Sympathetic? Do you know anyone like her?

Discussion #2: Beryl’s mother issues

I did find one reason to feel sympathetic toward Beryl: she was abandoned by her mother as a child, and that must leave an indelible scar on a person. The tragedy, of course, is that the crippling event of her life (losing her mother) is almost precisely what she ends up doing to her own child.

Even so, Beryl seems to think that her upbringing wasn’t a disadvantage but rather made her tough:

“I’ve sometimes thought that being loved a little less than others can actually make a person, rather than ruin them.”

Do you think being “loved a little less” is a benefit or a disadvantage? Do you think it’s possible to break the cycle of a lack of love?

Discussion #3: Interesting genre

I give the author credit for tackling a unique style of literature: she essentially fictionalized Beryl Markham’s memoir, which was originally published in 1942. Markham’s book, West with the Night, didn’t make much of a splash when it first came out, but in the 1980s, someone discovered a letter from Ernest Hemingway with this praise for her work: “It really is a bloody wonderful book.” The book was republished in 1983 and became a bestseller, and now Paula McLain has expanded and fictionalized the work. I didn’t realize until after I’d read it that Baroness Karen von Blixen is actually Isak Dinesen, who wrote Out of Africa.

Perhaps McLain stayed true to Markham’s personality and life experiences, but I found myself wishing that she’d created a protagonist who was more likable—or at least more sympathetic. Ultimately, Beryl was a tragic figure, but I’m not sure I would have chosen her as a subject for a novel.

“We had both tried for the sun, and had fallen, lurching to earth again, tasting melted wax and sorrow.”

In what ways do you think Beryl’s life might have turned out differently if she’d lived in a different time or place? Do you think you would have been friends with her?

Rating:

I would give this book two stars (out of five). Despite the quality writing, I just couldn’t invest in the main character enough to want to follow her journey page after page.

How many stars would you give this book?

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Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment below to be eligible to win.

Announcing the Book Club Selection for August

Circling the Sun

Thanks to everyone who participated in our book discussion about clutter, tidying up, and socks with feelings. Congratulations to Tiffanie, the winner of the free book! (Tiffanie, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

And now, announcing the next virtual book club selection: Circling the Sun by Paula McLain! Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

Brought to Kenya from England as a child and then abandoned by her mother, Beryl is raised by both her father and the native Kipsigis tribe who share his estate. Her unconventional upbringing transforms Beryl into a bold young woman with a fierce love of all things wild and an inherent understanding of nature’s delicate balance. But even the wild child must grow up, and when everything Beryl knows and trusts dissolves, she is catapulted into a string of disastrous relationships.

Beryl forges her own path as a horse trainer, and her uncommon style attracts the eye of the Happy Valley set, a decadent, bohemian community of European expats who also live and love by their own set of rules. But it’s the ruggedly charismatic Denys Finch Hatton who ultimately helps Beryl navigate the uncharted territory of her own heart. The intensity of their love reveals Beryl’s truest self and her fate: to fly.

We’ll be discussing Circling the Sun in August.

And remember, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter. Hope you’ll join us!

Book Discussion: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Lifechanging art of tidying upThanks for joining us for the virtual book club! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book, and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts in the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I have to say that I was a reluctant adopter to read this book. I prefer to read books where the story is the main thing, whether that’s in the form of a novel or a memoir. The problem with self-help books is that they typically require you to do something besides sit in a comfy chair and read. But so many people were talking about this book (many of whom claimed it changed their life, just as the title promises) that I finally caved.

Here’s my take, in a nutshell: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up didn’t change my life, but it did change my closet.

Discussion #1: What is your tolerance for clutter?

The author claims that “tidying up” isn’t just about having fewer belongings or about being organized; it’s about freeing yourself up to become the person you were meant to be.

Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.

She has a point here—when we have too much stuff, it can certainly bog us down. But I think everyone has a different level of comfort with clutter. Some people enjoy space for a little creative messiness; other people feel peace when their counters are clean and their closets are organized.

Where do you fall on the spectrum? How much clutter is too much for you?

Discussion #2: What tips resonated with you?

I appreciated that this book encouraged some self-reflection not just about what we keep but about why we keep it. As I went through my clothes, I realized my default question is typically “Do I wear this?” not “Does this spark joy?”

When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.

Serendipitously, I read this book the week after my company changed their dress code to allow jeans. I don’t think I had realized up to this point that dress pants spark zero joy in my life. As I write this, I am happily wearing jeans, and my dress pants are on a rack at Goodwill, hoping to spark joy in a new owner.

Was there something you got rid of after reading this book? How did you feel after you got rid of it? Do you tend to hold on to things because of sentimentality or a desire to prepared?

Discussion #3: What parts of the book didn’t click for you?

While I felt like I could glean insight form the author’s overall principles, some of her specifics were a little on the wonky side for me. She sounds very earnest in her claim that “folding is really a form of dialogue with your wardrobe.” Now I may have conversations with my laundry, but usually it’s a one-sided ordeal with exclamations like “Oh dear, I left you in the washer overnight.”

The part where my blood pressure started rising, however, was the section on books. For all that the author claims that objects have feelings, there is a surprising lack of sensitivity toward my beloved book-friends.

The true purpose [of books] is to be read, to convey the information to their readers.

There is no meaning in their just being on your shelves.

What?! Books aren’t just vehicles of information; they are companions for life! I confess to being rather horrified about her former habit of slicing pages out of books to keep the pages that sparked joy and discard the rest. I did get rid of a few titles that fall into the category of “books I feel like I should read but probably never will,” but that did little to pare down my three stuffed bookshelves.

So what are you sentimental about? For me it’s books, but for you maybe it’s photos, knickknacks, or gifts. What didn’t work for you in the KonMari method?

Rating

I would give this book three stars (out of five).

I’d say it’s worth reading as long as you go into it with the idea that you can personalize these concepts so they make sense for you—for your personality and your home and your unique situation. Weed out the wonky parts (like taping shut the eyes of your stuffed animals before giving them away), and just use what works for you. But if you’re in need of inspiration to declutter, this will give you the spark you need.

How would you rate this book?

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Remember: I’m giving away a FREE BOOK to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment about the book below to be eligible.

Book Club Selection for May

Lifechanging art of tidying upThanks to everyone who participated in our conversation about A Man Called Ove, where we talked about crotchety old men, cats, and finding purpose in life.

Congratulations to Linda, the winner of the free book giveaway! (Linda, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

Our next online book selection is The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I’ve been hearing so much buzz about this book lately, and besides, now that it’s April, I’m feeling the spring cleaning itch. I hope you’ll join me in reading (and possibly even tidying up)!

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

This guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes readers step-by-step through her revolutionary KonMari Method for simplifying, organizing, and storing.

Despite constant efforts to declutter your home, do papers still accumulate like snowdrifts and clothes pile up like a tangled mess of noodles?

Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you’ll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results. In fact, none of Kondo’s clients have lapsed (and she still has a three-month waiting list).

With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy” (and which don’t), this book featuring Tokyo’s newest lifestyle phenomenon will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home—and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

We’ll be discussing this book at the end of May. I hope you will join us!

Book Club Discussion: Wearing God

Thanks to everyone who read Wearing God by Lauren Winner. I’m looking forward to hearing what you thought of the book!Wearing God

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out a few topics for discussion, and you can write your responses about these topics (or anything else you’d like to say) in the comment section.

I have been a fan of Lauren Winner’s writing for years (I loved Girl Meets God, and I had the privilege of hearing her speak at The Festival of Faith and Writing several years ago). As someone who finds it hard to get my brain around something as big and mysterious and intangible as the nature of God, I am constantly seeking metaphors and analogies to piece together a truer understanding of him. I was excited to read Winner’s book about some of the more obscure or overlooked metaphors the Bible uses to describe God’s character.

Discussion #1: Images of God

Lauren Winner says that as a Christian community, we tend to overemphasize certain names/metaphors for God (Shepherd, King, Father) while overlooking others that would help give us a more fleshed-out picture of his character. She explores the idea of God as clothing, smell, bread and wine, a laboring woman, laughter, and fire, and unpacks these metaphors in striking ways.

I began to realize that my pictures of God were old. They were not old in the sense of antique champagne flutes, which are abundant with significance precisely because they are old. . . . Rather, they were old like a seventh-grade health textbook from 1963: moderately interesting for what it might say about culture and science in 1963, but generally out of date.

Do you agree that some of our images of God are old and worn out? Which image/metaphor of God do you resonate with most (either from this book or in general)?

Discussion #2: Scandalous Comparisons

I have to admit that some of the metaphors for God made me a little squeamish. Really, isn’t it a little undignified to picture the God of the universe as a pregnant woman agonizing in a birthing room? And isn’t it, well, indecorous to think of God wanting us to become drunk on him? But as I read, it occurred to me that that’s exactly the point. We tend to put God in a tidy little box so we can pin him down and understand him, but over and over the Bible blows our minds with how God is so far beyond our comprehension.

This is why Jesus is hymned not as grape juice but as wine: because He is dangerous and excessive.

Were there any images for God that didn’t sit well with you? Why or why not?

Discussion #3: Redefining Goodness

As I read this book, it occurred to me that one of the reasons we tend to shy away from certain metaphors about God is because they don’t seem to line up with our view of a good God. If God is fire, doesn’t that indicate he has the power to destroy as well as create? We are scared of this idea of an untamable God, so we stick to metaphors that we perceive as less threatening. But Winner gives us broader perspective, reminding us that while yes, God is good, that doesn’t mean we’ll never experience pain or hardship.

Maybe, if God is fire, we are a grove of ponderosa pines. Without the heat and burn of God’s flame, our pinecones would remain closed tight around the seeds that are needed for our thriving and growth and new life.

Have you ever seen God as fire in your life, not only bringing warmth but also purifying you?

Discussion #4: God as One Who Hides

One of the final descriptions the author offers of God is as one who hides. She quotes Isaiah as saying “You are a God who hides himself”—Deus absconditus.

Sometimes God hides. Sometimes what I might first name as God’s absence is in fact God’s hiding. In a sense, God hides amid all the many divine metaphors and similes that litter the scriptures. This is a God who conceals and reveals.

Have you ever experienced a season when it seems that God is hiding? How are you encouraged by this promise in Jeremiah: “When you search for me, you will find me”?

Discussion #5: Rating

I would give this book 4 stars out of 5. I don’t agree with all of the author’s theology, but I appreciate the way she tackles some intriguing (and often difficult) pictures of God. This book got me thinking about God’s character more deeply, and I found myself connecting with him in new ways as a result.

How many stars would you give this book?

Remember: There will a giveaway for a free book for one lucky commenter!