Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Announcing the Book Club Selection for This Summer: Liturgy of the Ordinary

When I was pregnant, everyone warned me about a newborn’s eating schedule. “You will feel like you’re feeding this kid around the clock,” they said. But no one told me about the unexpected perk of being confined to a chair for approximately 1/3 of your life during those first few months: you get to read oh-so-many books.

One of my favorite books during the newborn season wasn’t specifically about parenthood, but it felt especially timely, as it helped me reframe the simple, ordinary things I was doing as having spiritual significance.

No matter what season of life you find yourself in, I invite you to join me in reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. We will be discussing the book in August (and there will be a free book for one lucky commenter!).

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

In the overlooked moments and routines of our day, we can become aware of God’s presence in surprising ways. How do we embrace the sacred in the ordinary and the ordinary in the sacred?

Framed around one ordinary day, this book explores daily life through the lens of liturgy, small practices, and habits that form us. Each chapter looks at something―making the bed, brushing her teeth, losing her keys―that the author does every day. Drawing from the diversity of her life as a campus minister, Anglican priest, friend, wife, and mother, Tish Harrison Warren opens up a practical theology of the everyday. Each activity is related to a spiritual practice as well as an aspect of our Sunday worship.

Come and discover the holiness of your every day.

Join us in August for our online book discussion!

Book Discussion: A Monster Calls

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

This book was suggested to me by the same person who recommended A Man Called Ove. She has never steered me wrong when it comes to the literary decisions of life, so I tend to pull out a pen whenever she starts talking books. This book was out of my typical genre, but it didn’t disappoint. I’ve already recommended it to several people who are dealing with loss or grief at some level.

Discussion #1: The power of story

From the outset, this book is about grief and loss—the real monsters in the book. But it wasn’t a downer like I was expecting: it felt real and fresh and even witty at times, while not minimizing grief. One thing I really liked was how Conor dealt with his grief through stories:

Stories are important. They can be more important than anything. If they carry the truth.

How have stories helped you deal with something difficult in your life? Are there certain kinds of stories that tend to bring healing for you?

Discussion #2: Dealing with grief

I appreciated that Conor’s grief wasn’t sugarcoated or glossed over. It seems like as adults we sometimes try to protect kids from pain, and while this comes from a good motivation, it means that they end up stuffing their grief instead of dealing with it. As scary as the monster seems at first, he is the one who ultimately helps Conor unleash the truth about his feelings.

There is power in speaking the truth. We must tell the truth in order to heal.

Are you someone who tends to deal with hard situations head on, or do you lean more toward denial or anger? What “monsters” have helped you face the truth about how you’re feeling?

Discussion #3: Knowing when to let go

One of the things that tortures Conor most about his mother’s death is that he feels guilty for letting her go—for simultaneously wishing she’d live and wanting to be free from the pain of living in the not-knowing.

I didn’t mean to let her go! And now it’s for real! Now she’s going to die and it’s my fault!

When have you had to let go of something or someone? What conflicting feelings did you have about that . . . not wanting to lose them but also wanting the suffering to be over?

Discussion #4: Writing someone else’s book

I found it fascinating that another author, Siobhan Dowd, came up with the idea for this book first and then Patrick Ness ended up writing it. Dowd came up with the concept for the novel during her own terminal illness but died before she could write it, and an editor who worked with both authors arranged for Ness to write the story. Patrick says he had a lot of freedom to make the book his own:

I always say it felt like a really private conversation between me and her, and that mostly it was me saying, “Just look what we’re getting away with.”

If you were writing a book and weren’t able to finish it, would you want someone else to complete the project for you?

Rating

I thought this book was a fascinating study on loss, and the characters all seemed real and live to me. I just discovered that there’s a movie out based on the book, and I’d be interested in seeing it. I’d give the book four stars.

How many stars would you give the book (out of five)?

Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Announcing the Online Book Club for July!

Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Road Back to You! If you missed it, it’s not too late to join our discussion about personalities, deadly sins, and the Enneagram.

Congratulations to Allyson, the lucky winner of a free book! (Allyson, I’ll contact you privately about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the next book club selection! Fiction is up this time, and since it’s summer, I thought a young adult title was in order (although, as a fair warning, it’s not necessarily a beach read).

We’ll be reading A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness and discussing in July. Two fellow book lovers recommended the book to me, and I’m eager to hear what the buzz is about.

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.

But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming . . .

This monster is something different, though. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor.

It wants the truth.

We’ll be discussing the book in July—and remember, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Hope you will join us!

Book Discussion: The Road Back to You

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I am a geek about personality types of all kinds—Myers-Briggs, the five love languages, even what your coffee selection says about your reading style. So suffice it to say I was fairly giddy when I starting hearing buzz about the Enneagram. A type system with a spiritual twist? Sign me up already! But the books I read just didn’t seem to click for me. I found myself unsure of my number (whatever that was) and confused about how this applied to my life.

Until I found The Road Back to You. This was the book I’d been looking for—one that brought the Enneagram from an esoteric level into real life. Ever since, I’ve been urging as many people as possible to read it—if only so we can share the same lingo (“Oh, that’s definitely what a 2 would do!” or “She must be a 7!”).

Discussion #1: The Spiritual Implications

One thing I found unique (and at times squirm-inducing) is that unlike other personality tests, the Enneagram doesn’t just pat you on the back and say, “Aww, you’re a golden retriever! Good for you! You are special!” It focuses not only on your strengths but also on your proclivity to sin. It’s not just about what you do but why you do it—your deeper motivations.

As I read, I found myself doing some gut-level introspection. Why do I do this? Why do I fall into this cycle with my loved one? And while this was convicting and at times uncomfortable, it was a growing experience for me to dig into parts of myself I take for granted and open my eyes to the unique temptations I face based on the way I’m wired.

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around.
Brother Dave

Did you learn anything about yourself as you read this book? Did you buy the concept of the Enneagram—that each type has certain strengths but is also driven by a particular sin?

Discussion #2: What’s Your Number?

One thing that surprised me about the Enneagram is that it wasn’t a straightforward process to determine my number. With other personality tests, I tend to get pretty consistent results, but in this case I took several different tests and got several different numbers. After doing some research, I found that this is not uncommon. And according to people much more well versed in the Enneagram than I am, the wrestling you go through on your way to discovering your number is actually an important part of the process. It forces us to dig deeper into who we really are and what makes us tick.

After back-and-forthing for a while, I think I’m a 6 (the Loyalist), which means my besetting sin is fear. I read somewhere that the description that makes you most uncomfortable is probably the one you are, and that sounds about right!

The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.
Frederick Buechner

What do you think your number is? Do you think it’s possible for people’s number to change over time?

Discussion #3: Diagnosing Other People

I know, I know—the authors urged us to worry more about our own number than other people’s, but I can’t help but diagnose everyone I meet now! Anyone with me? This may have downsides (I don’t want to box anyone in), but overall I’ve found the Enneagram to be helpful in understanding the people I love. When I can see what life is like through the lens of their unique disposition, I have more empathy and more ability to understand what they act the way they do.

For me to be a saint means to be myself.
Thomas Merton

Do you find yourself trying to type other people too? Has this book given you any insights into the people you love?

Rating

I would give this book 5 stars—not because it’s a literary masterpiece but because it has prompted hours of the good kind of introspection and some really meaningful conversations with friends. I recommend that you read it and then loan it to a friend. Then go get a big cup of coffee together and talk about until you get kicked out of the coffee shop!

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I also recommend the podcast that goes along with the book.

Remember: I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Announcing the Virtual Book Club for April: The Road Back to You

Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Trouble with Goats and Sheep. We talked about whether you’re a goat or a sheep, the awkwardness of preadolescent friendships, and the neighborhood snoop in all of us.

Congratulations to Elizabeth, the lucky commenter who will win a free book! (Elizabeth, I’ll send you a separate message about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the selection for April! (I like to alternate between fiction and nonfiction, so nonfiction is up this time.) We’ll be reading The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. I have been hearing oh. so. much. about the Enneagram lately, and I wanted to find out more. I started the book already, and I am hooked—I think you will be too.

Here is the publisher’s description from the back of the book:

Ignorance is bliss―except in self-awareness. What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you and your relationships―and even keep you in the shallows with God. Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you’re stuck in the same ruts?

The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively. In The Road Back to You, Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile forge a unique approach―a practical, comprehensive way of accessing Enneagram wisdom and exploring its connections with Christian spirituality for a deeper knowledge of ourselves, compassion for others, and love for God.

Witty and filled with stories, this book allows you to peek inside each of the nine Enneagram types, keeping you turning the pages long after you have read the chapter about your own number. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people’s eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do.

Beginning with changes you can start making today, the wisdom of the Enneagram can help take you further along into who you really are―leading you into places of spiritual discovery you would never have found on your own, and paving the way to the wiser, more compassionate person you want to become.

I hope to hear your thoughts on the book in April! Meanwhile, happy reading!

{Remember: I give away a free book to one lucky commenter, so be sure to join us!}

Virtual Book Club for January: The Trouble with Goats and Sheep

Thanks to everyone who participated in the book club discussion about Big Magic!I appreciated everyone’s insights about creativity and perfectionism and trying new things and getting braver as we get older. Congratulations to Rachel for winning the free book giveaway! Rachel, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.

And now . . . announcing the book club selection for January! We will be reading The Trouble with Goats and Sheep by Joanna Cannon.

Here is the description from the back of the book:

Part coming-of-age story, part mystery, The Trouble with Goats and Sheep is a quirky and utterly charming debut about a community in need of absolution and two girls learning what it means to belong.

England, 1976. Mrs. Creasy is missing and the Avenue is alive with whispers. The neighbors blame her sudden disappearance on the heat wave, but ten-year-olds Grace and Tilly aren’t convinced. As the summer shimmers endlessly on, the girls decide to take matters into their own hands. Inspired by the local vicar, they go looking for God—they believe that if they find Him they might also find Mrs. Creasy and bring her home.

Spunky, spirited Grace and quiet, thoughtful Tilly go door to door in search of clues. The cul-de-sac starts to give up its secrets, and the amateur detectives uncover much more than ever imagined. As they try to make sense of what they’ve seen and heard, a complicated history of deception begins to emerge. Everyone on the Avenue has something to hide, a reason for not fitting in.

In the suffocating heat of the summer, the ability to guard these differences becomes impossible. Along with the parched lawns and the melting pavement, the lives of all the neighbors begin to unravel. What the girls don’t realize is that the lies told to conceal what happened one fateful day about a decade ago are the same ones Mrs. Creasy was beginning to peel back just before she disappeared.

I hope you will join us for the discussion at the end of January! Remember, there will be a free book giveaway to one lucky commenter. Happy reading, everyone!

Adventures in Book Clubbing

Every time my grandmother sees me, she asks, with a twinkle in her eye, “How many book clubs are you in now, dear?”

It’s a valid question.

At any given time, I am most likely participating in between three and four book clubs: my virtual book club on this blog, a book club at work, my Sunday evening book club, and the occasional temporary book club with friends.

Now that I spell it all out like that, it does sound like a bit of a problem.

Every year in October, my Sunday evening book club has a tradition of dressing up like a book character, and the rest of us try to guess the book. This year I was feeling uninspired by our selections from the past year, and I was lamenting my lack of ideas to Daniel. That’s wbook-clubhen he came up with this ingenious idea: to dress up as myself.

And that’s what I did. I dressed up as the me on the cover of I Was Blind (Dating), but Now I See. People hardly even recognized me.

Here’s a picture of my wonderful book club friends. (You’ll also notice costumes from The Snow Child, A Man Called Ove, and The Goldfinch, plus my aunt in an apron from some unspecified book).

***Blind Dating

If your book club is interested in reading my book and having me talk to your group, I’d be happy to participate, either in person or via Skype! Just send me a message through this site, and we can talk about details. Happy reading, everyone!

 

Announcing the November Book Club: Big Magic

big magicThanks to everyone who read and/or discussed our last book club about Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. Congratulations to Cindy, the lucky commenter who won a free book! (Cindy, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the next virtual book club title: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert! Here’s the publisher’s description:

Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives. Balancing between soulful spirituality and cheerful pragmatism, Gilbert encourages us to uncover the “strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Whether we are looking to write a book, make art, find new ways to address challenges in our work, embark on a dream long deferred, or simply infuse our everyday lives with more mindfulness and passion, Big Magic cracks open a world of wonder and joy.

We will be discussing the book in November—I hope you can join us! Remember: there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter!

Book Club Discussion: Circling the Sun

Circling the SunFor this edition of our virtual book club, we’re discussing Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. It’s easy to participate: just add your thoughts about the discussion questions (or anything else you’d like to talk about) in the comment section below.

This book started out with so much promise: it’s beautifully written, and the scenes of the Kenyan landscape come to life off the pages. I also found myself intrigued by a time and place I didn’t know much about: 1920s colonial Kenya. Unfortunately, there was one significant deal breaker for me: I just didn’t like the main character. It was painful to watch Beryl make choice after choice that imploded her life, and after a while, even though I felt sorry for her, I just couldn’t bring myself to keep cheering for her. I slogged my way through the second half of the book.

Discussion #1: Beryl as a flawed character

What intrigued me most when I picked up this book was the angle of Beryl’s cross-cultural experiences, as well as her accomplishments as a woman in the ’20s. She made history as a racehorse trainer and a pilot—two professions that were pretty countercultural for a woman of her time. But so much of the book focused on her affairs and poor relational choices that those events overshadowed the rest of her story.

“We’re all of us afraid of many things, but if you make yourself smaller or let your fear confine you, then you really aren’t your own person at all—are you? The real question is whether or not you will risk what it takes to be happy.”

The irony is that Beryl risks everything to find happiness but ends up profoundly unhappy. I’m not sure she ever comes to realize she’s been chasing the wrong things all along.

What did you think of Beryl? Did you find her likable? Sympathetic? Do you know anyone like her?

Discussion #2: Beryl’s mother issues

I did find one reason to feel sympathetic toward Beryl: she was abandoned by her mother as a child, and that must leave an indelible scar on a person. The tragedy, of course, is that the crippling event of her life (losing her mother) is almost precisely what she ends up doing to her own child.

Even so, Beryl seems to think that her upbringing wasn’t a disadvantage but rather made her tough:

“I’ve sometimes thought that being loved a little less than others can actually make a person, rather than ruin them.”

Do you think being “loved a little less” is a benefit or a disadvantage? Do you think it’s possible to break the cycle of a lack of love?

Discussion #3: Interesting genre

I give the author credit for tackling a unique style of literature: she essentially fictionalized Beryl Markham’s memoir, which was originally published in 1942. Markham’s book, West with the Night, didn’t make much of a splash when it first came out, but in the 1980s, someone discovered a letter from Ernest Hemingway with this praise for her work: “It really is a bloody wonderful book.” The book was republished in 1983 and became a bestseller, and now Paula McLain has expanded and fictionalized the work. I didn’t realize until after I’d read it that Baroness Karen von Blixen is actually Isak Dinesen, who wrote Out of Africa.

Perhaps McLain stayed true to Markham’s personality and life experiences, but I found myself wishing that she’d created a protagonist who was more likable—or at least more sympathetic. Ultimately, Beryl was a tragic figure, but I’m not sure I would have chosen her as a subject for a novel.

“We had both tried for the sun, and had fallen, lurching to earth again, tasting melted wax and sorrow.”

In what ways do you think Beryl’s life might have turned out differently if she’d lived in a different time or place? Do you think you would have been friends with her?

Rating:

I would give this book two stars (out of five). Despite the quality writing, I just couldn’t invest in the main character enough to want to follow her journey page after page.

How many stars would you give this book?

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Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment below to be eligible to win.

Announcing the Book Club Selection for August

Circling the Sun

Thanks to everyone who participated in our book discussion about clutter, tidying up, and socks with feelings. Congratulations to Tiffanie, the winner of the free book! (Tiffanie, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

And now, announcing the next virtual book club selection: Circling the Sun by Paula McLain! Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

Brought to Kenya from England as a child and then abandoned by her mother, Beryl is raised by both her father and the native Kipsigis tribe who share his estate. Her unconventional upbringing transforms Beryl into a bold young woman with a fierce love of all things wild and an inherent understanding of nature’s delicate balance. But even the wild child must grow up, and when everything Beryl knows and trusts dissolves, she is catapulted into a string of disastrous relationships.

Beryl forges her own path as a horse trainer, and her uncommon style attracts the eye of the Happy Valley set, a decadent, bohemian community of European expats who also live and love by their own set of rules. But it’s the ruggedly charismatic Denys Finch Hatton who ultimately helps Beryl navigate the uncharted territory of her own heart. The intensity of their love reveals Beryl’s truest self and her fate: to fly.

We’ll be discussing Circling the Sun in August.

And remember, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter. Hope you’ll join us!