Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Online Book Club: Liturgy of the Ordinary

Did you read reading Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren? If so, you are invited to join the conversation!

Here’s how the online book club works: Just read the book at your own convenience, and then add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

As a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

I received this book as a gift when my son was just a few weeks old, and as it turned out, it was perfect for someone whose pace of life had just altered drastically. I had made an abrupt shift from days full of working and writing and serving and getting together with friends to days where the potential highlight was taking a shower.

For someone who is a big fan of crossing things off a to-do list, it quickly became clear that I needed to redefine what it looked like to follow Jesus when large swaths of my time were spent changing diapers, feeding a baby, and deciding how much spit-up on my shirt necessitated a clothing change. This book spoke into some of my biggest questions and wrestlings in that moment.

Discussion #1: Changing the World

Everywhere we look, someone seems to be changing the world. Someone is planting crops using sustainable agricultural practices; someone is rescuing women from sex trafficking; someone is helping small business owners in Kenya. This is all really good news, but sometimes it feels like a lot of pressure for a person whose main task for this season is to keep a small human being alive.

The book made me ponder this question: What if God is primarily calling us to ordinary, everyday faithfulness, not some kind of heroic Christianity? Yes, there are times when he asks us to big things for him, but truth be told, even most of those heroic things consist of a series of small acts of obedience.

“God is forming us into a new people. And the place of that formation is in the small moments of today.”

Do you ever struggle with the mundane moments of life, wishing you could do something grander? How would it shift your perspective to know that God is using our small, everyday tasks to make us into the people he wants us to be?

Discussion #2: The Divine in the Ordinary

I appreciated Tish Harrison Warren’s perspective that there is no distinction between the sacred and the secular, as we often imagine. We tend to compartmentalize the spiritual part of our lives, and we fret when it gets squeezed by other urgent things.

This book reminds us that we don’t have to wait for set-aside moments to connect with God; we can meet him in the ordinary moments, like sitting in traffic, thanking him for our leftovers, or talking with a friend.

“Small bits of our day are profoundly meaningful because they are the site of our worship. The crucible of our formation is in the monotony of our daily routines.”

In what ordinary moments do you tend to connect with God? In what ordinary moments would you like to be more aware of his presence?

Discussion #3: Learning to Be Beloved

One of my favorite chapters is chapter 1, about learning our identity as God’s beloved. When we can grasp that reality, it frames the entire liturgy of our days. We can better recognize and bask in God’s presence in the small moments when we remember that we belong to him and that he delights in us.

“We are marked from our first waking moment by an identity that is given to us by grace: an identity that is deeper and more real than any other identity we will don that day.”

What was your favorite chapter? Was there any story or topic that particularly resonated with you?

Rating: How many stars would you give this book (out of 5)?

I would give this book five stars, in part because it was the right book at the right time. I appreciated the way the author organized the book over the course of a day. It sounds like a simple premise, but the thoughts contained in each chapter are profound, and beautifully written.

I appreciated the reminder that the little things matter. And incidentally, when those ordinary moments are stacked one upon the other, they will end up changing the world—and us.

How many stars would you give this book?

Book Discussion: A Monster Calls

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

This book was suggested to me by the same person who recommended A Man Called Ove. She has never steered me wrong when it comes to the literary decisions of life, so I tend to pull out a pen whenever she starts talking books. This book was out of my typical genre, but it didn’t disappoint. I’ve already recommended it to several people who are dealing with loss or grief at some level.

Discussion #1: The power of story

From the outset, this book is about grief and loss—the real monsters in the book. But it wasn’t a downer like I was expecting: it felt real and fresh and even witty at times, while not minimizing grief. One thing I really liked was how Conor dealt with his grief through stories:

Stories are important. They can be more important than anything. If they carry the truth.

How have stories helped you deal with something difficult in your life? Are there certain kinds of stories that tend to bring healing for you?

Discussion #2: Dealing with grief

I appreciated that Conor’s grief wasn’t sugarcoated or glossed over. It seems like as adults we sometimes try to protect kids from pain, and while this comes from a good motivation, it means that they end up stuffing their grief instead of dealing with it. As scary as the monster seems at first, he is the one who ultimately helps Conor unleash the truth about his feelings.

There is power in speaking the truth. We must tell the truth in order to heal.

Are you someone who tends to deal with hard situations head on, or do you lean more toward denial or anger? What “monsters” have helped you face the truth about how you’re feeling?

Discussion #3: Knowing when to let go

One of the things that tortures Conor most about his mother’s death is that he feels guilty for letting her go—for simultaneously wishing she’d live and wanting to be free from the pain of living in the not-knowing.

I didn’t mean to let her go! And now it’s for real! Now she’s going to die and it’s my fault!

When have you had to let go of something or someone? What conflicting feelings did you have about that . . . not wanting to lose them but also wanting the suffering to be over?

Discussion #4: Writing someone else’s book

I found it fascinating that another author, Siobhan Dowd, came up with the idea for this book first and then Patrick Ness ended up writing it. Dowd came up with the concept for the novel during her own terminal illness but died before she could write it, and an editor who worked with both authors arranged for Ness to write the story. Patrick says he had a lot of freedom to make the book his own:

I always say it felt like a really private conversation between me and her, and that mostly it was me saying, “Just look what we’re getting away with.”

If you were writing a book and weren’t able to finish it, would you want someone else to complete the project for you?

Rating

I thought this book was a fascinating study on loss, and the characters all seemed real and live to me. I just discovered that there’s a movie out based on the book, and I’d be interested in seeing it. I’d give the book four stars.

How many stars would you give the book (out of five)?

Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Book Discussion: The Road Back to You

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I am a geek about personality types of all kinds—Myers-Briggs, the five love languages, even what your coffee selection says about your reading style. So suffice it to say I was fairly giddy when I starting hearing buzz about the Enneagram. A type system with a spiritual twist? Sign me up already! But the books I read just didn’t seem to click for me. I found myself unsure of my number (whatever that was) and confused about how this applied to my life.

Until I found The Road Back to You. This was the book I’d been looking for—one that brought the Enneagram from an esoteric level into real life. Ever since, I’ve been urging as many people as possible to read it—if only so we can share the same lingo (“Oh, that’s definitely what a 2 would do!” or “She must be a 7!”).

Discussion #1: The Spiritual Implications

One thing I found unique (and at times squirm-inducing) is that unlike other personality tests, the Enneagram doesn’t just pat you on the back and say, “Aww, you’re a golden retriever! Good for you! You are special!” It focuses not only on your strengths but also on your proclivity to sin. It’s not just about what you do but why you do it—your deeper motivations.

As I read, I found myself doing some gut-level introspection. Why do I do this? Why do I fall into this cycle with my loved one? And while this was convicting and at times uncomfortable, it was a growing experience for me to dig into parts of myself I take for granted and open my eyes to the unique temptations I face based on the way I’m wired.

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around.
Brother Dave

Did you learn anything about yourself as you read this book? Did you buy the concept of the Enneagram—that each type has certain strengths but is also driven by a particular sin?

Discussion #2: What’s Your Number?

One thing that surprised me about the Enneagram is that it wasn’t a straightforward process to determine my number. With other personality tests, I tend to get pretty consistent results, but in this case I took several different tests and got several different numbers. After doing some research, I found that this is not uncommon. And according to people much more well versed in the Enneagram than I am, the wrestling you go through on your way to discovering your number is actually an important part of the process. It forces us to dig deeper into who we really are and what makes us tick.

After back-and-forthing for a while, I think I’m a 6 (the Loyalist), which means my besetting sin is fear. I read somewhere that the description that makes you most uncomfortable is probably the one you are, and that sounds about right!

The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.
Frederick Buechner

What do you think your number is? Do you think it’s possible for people’s number to change over time?

Discussion #3: Diagnosing Other People

I know, I know—the authors urged us to worry more about our own number than other people’s, but I can’t help but diagnose everyone I meet now! Anyone with me? This may have downsides (I don’t want to box anyone in), but overall I’ve found the Enneagram to be helpful in understanding the people I love. When I can see what life is like through the lens of their unique disposition, I have more empathy and more ability to understand what they act the way they do.

For me to be a saint means to be myself.
Thomas Merton

Do you find yourself trying to type other people too? Has this book given you any insights into the people you love?

Rating

I would give this book 5 stars—not because it’s a literary masterpiece but because it has prompted hours of the good kind of introspection and some really meaningful conversations with friends. I recommend that you read it and then loan it to a friend. Then go get a big cup of coffee together and talk about until you get kicked out of the coffee shop!

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I also recommend the podcast that goes along with the book.

Remember: I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!

Virtual Book Club Discussion: Big Magic

big magicThanks for joining us for this month’s virtual book club on Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert! It’s easy to participate: Just read the book, and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just share what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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A friend recommended this book to me recently, after asking what my next creative endeavor would be. She lives a creative life, whether she’s making a meal, writing a clever email, or learning a new skill, so I was eager to heed her recommendation.

I found some of the ideas at the beginning of the book a little wonky (like the idea that the plotlines of books are just floating around in space, waiting to be received by a willing author—really?!). But the principles for living a creative life, regardless of what form that creativity takes, resonated with me.

Discussion #1: The Courage of Creating

For me, writing a book felt a lot like jumping off a high dive—terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. So the idea that creativity takes courage made a lot of sense to me. I liked the author’s perspective that “fear is boring.”

My fear always made predictably boring decisions, like a choose-your-own-ending book that always had the same ending: nothingness.

Why do you think creating something feels so scary? What creative tasks have you tackled in the face of your fears?

Discussion #2: The Curse of Perfectionism

As a recovering perfectionist, I know what it’s like to hear that voice whisper in your ear that if you can’t do it right, you might as well not do it at all. I’m thinking I should hang this advice from the author’s mom on my office wall or above the stove in my kitchen: “Done is better than good.”

A good-enough novel violently written now is better than a perfect novel meticulously written never.

Do you struggle with perfectionism? When is this a good trait, and when does it get in the way?

Discussion #3: The Role of Failure in Creativity

If there’s one fear that thwarts creativity more than anything else, I’d venture to say it’s the fear of failure. But failure is an essential part of the creative process. In the chapter “Do Something Else,” Elizabeth Gilbert poses the question, “How do you keep living a creative life after you’ve failed?”

First of all, forgive yourself. Remember that you’re nothing but a beginner—even if you’ve been working on your craft for fifty years. We are all just beginners here, and we shall all die beginners.

It’s encouraging to me that even a bestselling author considers herself a beginner; that creates space for the rest of us to be beginners too.

What new ventures are you afraid to try because you don’t want to fail? Does it help to know that we’re all beginners when it comes to creativity?

Discussion #4: Not Caring What Other People Think

In the chapter entitled “Nobody’s Thinking about You,” the author quotes her mentor as saying:

We all spend our twenties and thirties trying to be perfect, because we’re so worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you won’t be completely free until you reach your sixties and seventies, when you finally realize this liberating truth—nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow.

Have you found it to be true that you care less about what other people think of you as you get older? Do we have to wait until we’re in our sixties and seventies to be free from the fear of what other people think?

Rating

I would give this book four stars out of five. I could have done without some of the wonky worldview, but I appreciated Gilbert’s insights and inspirations about living a creative life.

How many stars would you give this book? And what will your next creative endeavor be?

 

Book Club Discussion: Circling the Sun

Circling the SunFor this edition of our virtual book club, we’re discussing Circling the Sun by Paula McLain. It’s easy to participate: just add your thoughts about the discussion questions (or anything else you’d like to talk about) in the comment section below.

This book started out with so much promise: it’s beautifully written, and the scenes of the Kenyan landscape come to life off the pages. I also found myself intrigued by a time and place I didn’t know much about: 1920s colonial Kenya. Unfortunately, there was one significant deal breaker for me: I just didn’t like the main character. It was painful to watch Beryl make choice after choice that imploded her life, and after a while, even though I felt sorry for her, I just couldn’t bring myself to keep cheering for her. I slogged my way through the second half of the book.

Discussion #1: Beryl as a flawed character

What intrigued me most when I picked up this book was the angle of Beryl’s cross-cultural experiences, as well as her accomplishments as a woman in the ’20s. She made history as a racehorse trainer and a pilot—two professions that were pretty countercultural for a woman of her time. But so much of the book focused on her affairs and poor relational choices that those events overshadowed the rest of her story.

“We’re all of us afraid of many things, but if you make yourself smaller or let your fear confine you, then you really aren’t your own person at all—are you? The real question is whether or not you will risk what it takes to be happy.”

The irony is that Beryl risks everything to find happiness but ends up profoundly unhappy. I’m not sure she ever comes to realize she’s been chasing the wrong things all along.

What did you think of Beryl? Did you find her likable? Sympathetic? Do you know anyone like her?

Discussion #2: Beryl’s mother issues

I did find one reason to feel sympathetic toward Beryl: she was abandoned by her mother as a child, and that must leave an indelible scar on a person. The tragedy, of course, is that the crippling event of her life (losing her mother) is almost precisely what she ends up doing to her own child.

Even so, Beryl seems to think that her upbringing wasn’t a disadvantage but rather made her tough:

“I’ve sometimes thought that being loved a little less than others can actually make a person, rather than ruin them.”

Do you think being “loved a little less” is a benefit or a disadvantage? Do you think it’s possible to break the cycle of a lack of love?

Discussion #3: Interesting genre

I give the author credit for tackling a unique style of literature: she essentially fictionalized Beryl Markham’s memoir, which was originally published in 1942. Markham’s book, West with the Night, didn’t make much of a splash when it first came out, but in the 1980s, someone discovered a letter from Ernest Hemingway with this praise for her work: “It really is a bloody wonderful book.” The book was republished in 1983 and became a bestseller, and now Paula McLain has expanded and fictionalized the work. I didn’t realize until after I’d read it that Baroness Karen von Blixen is actually Isak Dinesen, who wrote Out of Africa.

Perhaps McLain stayed true to Markham’s personality and life experiences, but I found myself wishing that she’d created a protagonist who was more likable—or at least more sympathetic. Ultimately, Beryl was a tragic figure, but I’m not sure I would have chosen her as a subject for a novel.

“We had both tried for the sun, and had fallen, lurching to earth again, tasting melted wax and sorrow.”

In what ways do you think Beryl’s life might have turned out differently if she’d lived in a different time or place? Do you think you would have been friends with her?

Rating:

I would give this book two stars (out of five). Despite the quality writing, I just couldn’t invest in the main character enough to want to follow her journey page after page.

How many stars would you give this book?

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Remember: I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment below to be eligible to win.

Book Discussion: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Lifechanging art of tidying upThanks for joining us for the virtual book club! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book, and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts in the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I have to say that I was a reluctant adopter to read this book. I prefer to read books where the story is the main thing, whether that’s in the form of a novel or a memoir. The problem with self-help books is that they typically require you to do something besides sit in a comfy chair and read. But so many people were talking about this book (many of whom claimed it changed their life, just as the title promises) that I finally caved.

Here’s my take, in a nutshell: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up didn’t change my life, but it did change my closet.

Discussion #1: What is your tolerance for clutter?

The author claims that “tidying up” isn’t just about having fewer belongings or about being organized; it’s about freeing yourself up to become the person you were meant to be.

Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.

She has a point here—when we have too much stuff, it can certainly bog us down. But I think everyone has a different level of comfort with clutter. Some people enjoy space for a little creative messiness; other people feel peace when their counters are clean and their closets are organized.

Where do you fall on the spectrum? How much clutter is too much for you?

Discussion #2: What tips resonated with you?

I appreciated that this book encouraged some self-reflection not just about what we keep but about why we keep it. As I went through my clothes, I realized my default question is typically “Do I wear this?” not “Does this spark joy?”

When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.

Serendipitously, I read this book the week after my company changed their dress code to allow jeans. I don’t think I had realized up to this point that dress pants spark zero joy in my life. As I write this, I am happily wearing jeans, and my dress pants are on a rack at Goodwill, hoping to spark joy in a new owner.

Was there something you got rid of after reading this book? How did you feel after you got rid of it? Do you tend to hold on to things because of sentimentality or a desire to prepared?

Discussion #3: What parts of the book didn’t click for you?

While I felt like I could glean insight form the author’s overall principles, some of her specifics were a little on the wonky side for me. She sounds very earnest in her claim that “folding is really a form of dialogue with your wardrobe.” Now I may have conversations with my laundry, but usually it’s a one-sided ordeal with exclamations like “Oh dear, I left you in the washer overnight.”

The part where my blood pressure started rising, however, was the section on books. For all that the author claims that objects have feelings, there is a surprising lack of sensitivity toward my beloved book-friends.

The true purpose [of books] is to be read, to convey the information to their readers.

There is no meaning in their just being on your shelves.

What?! Books aren’t just vehicles of information; they are companions for life! I confess to being rather horrified about her former habit of slicing pages out of books to keep the pages that sparked joy and discard the rest. I did get rid of a few titles that fall into the category of “books I feel like I should read but probably never will,” but that did little to pare down my three stuffed bookshelves.

So what are you sentimental about? For me it’s books, but for you maybe it’s photos, knickknacks, or gifts. What didn’t work for you in the KonMari method?

Rating

I would give this book three stars (out of five).

I’d say it’s worth reading as long as you go into it with the idea that you can personalize these concepts so they make sense for you—for your personality and your home and your unique situation. Weed out the wonky parts (like taping shut the eyes of your stuffed animals before giving them away), and just use what works for you. But if you’re in need of inspiration to declutter, this will give you the spark you need.

How would you rate this book?

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Remember: I’m giving away a FREE BOOK to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment about the book below to be eligible.

Book Discussion: A Man Called Ove

A Man Called OveIf I were to pick a handful of words to describe this book, I’d have to go with quirky, endearing, and hopeful. And above all, charming. Which, when you come to think of it, are not exactly the words you might expect for a book that opens with an old man making plans to commit suicide. Despite the premise, this book had some delightfully humorous moments, and I had that pleasant kind of lump in my throat throughout the whole thing. I fell in love with curmudgeonly old Ove, and it was one of those books I couldn’t bear to finish because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him yet.

Discussion #1: Are you going to be a crotchety old man (or woman) someday?

Ove stuck to his routines, he liked what he liked, he resisted modern advances, and he balked at change.

This was a world where one became outdated before one’s time was up. An entire country standing up and applauding the fact that no one was capable of doing anything properly anymore. The unreserved celebration of mediocrity. No one could change tires. Install a dimmer switch. Lay some tiles. Plaster a wall. File their own taxes. These were all forms of knowledge that had lost their relevance.

Do you know anyone like Ove? In what ways are you like him (or do you see yourself becoming like him in the future)?

Discussion #2: Everyone has a story.

I appreciate the way Ove’s story unfolds gradually throughout the book, and we come to realize why he is the way he is—and that underneath his gruff exterior, he actually has a kind heart.

All people at root are time optimists. We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like “if.”

Do you know anyone who seems tough on the outside but is actually a softie? What does this book say to you about savoring the moments we have with the ones we love?

Discussion #3: Every life has value.

Ove is practical guy—he loves things that are useful and have a specific purpose. But when he loses his wife and his job, he finds himself feeling useless and wondering if there’s any purpose left for him.

What would you say to someone like Ove who didn’t think they had a reason for living anymore?

Discussion #4: On loving well—and grieving well.

Ove eventually finds community—or more accurately, community finds him—in the form of his quirky band of neighbors and a pesky cat that refuses to go away. And in finding community, he starts to process his loss and find purpose again.

Sorrow is unreliable in that way. When people don’t share it there’s a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.

I think this is one of the loveliest passages about old love I’ve ever read:

“To love someone is like moving into a house,” Sonja used to say. “At first you fall in love in everything new, you wonder every morning that this is one’s own, as if they are afraid that someone will suddenly come tumbling through the door and say that there has been a serious mistake and that it simply was not meant to would live so fine. But as the years go by, the facade worn, the wood cracks here and there, and you start to love this house not so much for all the ways it is perfect in that for all the ways it is not. . . . That’s it, all the little secrets that make it your home.”

Rating

I would give this book five stars (out of five) for its rare blend of humor and profundity, for its vividly drawn characters, and for its insights into aging, death, and life.

How many stars would you give this book?

{Be sure to add your comment—I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!}

Book Club Discussion: Wearing God

Thanks to everyone who read Wearing God by Lauren Winner. I’m looking forward to hearing what you thought of the book!Wearing God

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out a few topics for discussion, and you can write your responses about these topics (or anything else you’d like to say) in the comment section.

I have been a fan of Lauren Winner’s writing for years (I loved Girl Meets God, and I had the privilege of hearing her speak at The Festival of Faith and Writing several years ago). As someone who finds it hard to get my brain around something as big and mysterious and intangible as the nature of God, I am constantly seeking metaphors and analogies to piece together a truer understanding of him. I was excited to read Winner’s book about some of the more obscure or overlooked metaphors the Bible uses to describe God’s character.

Discussion #1: Images of God

Lauren Winner says that as a Christian community, we tend to overemphasize certain names/metaphors for God (Shepherd, King, Father) while overlooking others that would help give us a more fleshed-out picture of his character. She explores the idea of God as clothing, smell, bread and wine, a laboring woman, laughter, and fire, and unpacks these metaphors in striking ways.

I began to realize that my pictures of God were old. They were not old in the sense of antique champagne flutes, which are abundant with significance precisely because they are old. . . . Rather, they were old like a seventh-grade health textbook from 1963: moderately interesting for what it might say about culture and science in 1963, but generally out of date.

Do you agree that some of our images of God are old and worn out? Which image/metaphor of God do you resonate with most (either from this book or in general)?

Discussion #2: Scandalous Comparisons

I have to admit that some of the metaphors for God made me a little squeamish. Really, isn’t it a little undignified to picture the God of the universe as a pregnant woman agonizing in a birthing room? And isn’t it, well, indecorous to think of God wanting us to become drunk on him? But as I read, it occurred to me that that’s exactly the point. We tend to put God in a tidy little box so we can pin him down and understand him, but over and over the Bible blows our minds with how God is so far beyond our comprehension.

This is why Jesus is hymned not as grape juice but as wine: because He is dangerous and excessive.

Were there any images for God that didn’t sit well with you? Why or why not?

Discussion #3: Redefining Goodness

As I read this book, it occurred to me that one of the reasons we tend to shy away from certain metaphors about God is because they don’t seem to line up with our view of a good God. If God is fire, doesn’t that indicate he has the power to destroy as well as create? We are scared of this idea of an untamable God, so we stick to metaphors that we perceive as less threatening. But Winner gives us broader perspective, reminding us that while yes, God is good, that doesn’t mean we’ll never experience pain or hardship.

Maybe, if God is fire, we are a grove of ponderosa pines. Without the heat and burn of God’s flame, our pinecones would remain closed tight around the seeds that are needed for our thriving and growth and new life.

Have you ever seen God as fire in your life, not only bringing warmth but also purifying you?

Discussion #4: God as One Who Hides

One of the final descriptions the author offers of God is as one who hides. She quotes Isaiah as saying “You are a God who hides himself”—Deus absconditus.

Sometimes God hides. Sometimes what I might first name as God’s absence is in fact God’s hiding. In a sense, God hides amid all the many divine metaphors and similes that litter the scriptures. This is a God who conceals and reveals.

Have you ever experienced a season when it seems that God is hiding? How are you encouraged by this promise in Jeremiah: “When you search for me, you will find me”?

Discussion #5: Rating

I would give this book 4 stars out of 5. I don’t agree with all of the author’s theology, but I appreciate the way she tackles some intriguing (and often difficult) pictures of God. This book got me thinking about God’s character more deeply, and I found myself connecting with him in new ways as a result.

How many stars would you give this book?

Remember: There will a giveaway for a free book for one lucky commenter!

Book Discussion: The Girl on the Train

Thanks for participating in our virtual book discussion! This month we’re talking about The Girl on the Train.Girl on the Train

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out a few topics for discussion, and you can write your responses about these topics (or anything else you’d like to say) in the comment section.

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This isn’t the type of book I typically enjoy, but it has been buzzing all over the internet for months, and I finally caved, if only to see what all the hubbub was about. The story follows Rachel, who takes a commuter train each morning and watches a seemingly perfect couple eating breakfast on their deck. Her own life, meanwhile, is a train wreck (sorry for the bad pun!). Then tragedy strikes the couple, and Rachel finds herself deeply entangled in the case.

Discussion #1: The Characters

My struggle with this book was that although the characters were well drawn, I didn’t like any of them. I did feel sorry for Rachel, but mostly I just cringed as she continued to drink and send irretrievable e-mails to Tom and generally dig herself deeper into a pit. And that’s to say nothing of the other characters, who were pretty much all liars and backstabbers.

What about you? Did you find any of the characters likable? What did you think of Rachel as a main character?

Discussion #2: Suspense Factor

Despite not liking the characters, I have to admit that, as Paula Hawkins’s publisher Sarah McGrath says, this is “a very propulsive read.” The mystery unfolds in such a jarring yet compelling way that I had no choice but to keep reading. Rachel’s blackouts add to the suspense, making it difficult to discern what is true, and her unreliable memories and self-doubt leave us questioning what her role really was. I liked the way the author wove in three different narrators to tell the story to heighten the suspense and to force us to piece it all together.

Did the story keep your attention? Do you tend to like suspense as a genre?

Discussion #3: The Role of Women

It’s interesting that this story revolves around several women competing over a man, but in the end, it’s the women who take justice into their hands for a satisfying (if somewhat contrived and gruesome) finale. The author doesn’t delve deeply into gender roles, but she does touch on them, such as when Rachel says, “Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their roles as mothers. I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless.”

What did you think of the women portrayed in this book? Were they strong or seriously flawed, or both?

Discussion #4: Rating

I kept hearing this book compared to Gone Girl, and while there were some similarities (like the alternating points of view and an unreliable narrator), I thought Gone Girl pulled off these effects better than The Girl on the Train.

As much as I was sucked in by the suspense of the story, it was painful to read about so much deception, and I’m not sure the payoff was worth it for me. I’d give the book 2 stars (out of five).

How many stars would you give this book?

{Remember, I’ll be giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!}

Book Club Discussion: Scary Close

Scary closeThanks to everyone who participated in our book discussion about Scary Close this month! I’d love to hear your thoughts about this book.

My recap: Scary Close is one of the best books I’ve read about vulnerability and relationships and the special brand of courage it takes to let another person look inside your soul. I put it right next to Daring Greatly on the bookshelf of my brain.

Discussion #1: Vulnerability is hard

It’s mystifying and maddening how the one thing we want most (to know and be known) is also one of the scariest things we can do as human beings. Donald Miller says, “I hardly knew who I was myself, much less how to be fully known.”

Do you think you have to know yourself first to be known by others? Why or why not?

Discussion #2: Sorting out the truth about yourself

When Donald Miller is reflecting on his childhood, he says, “I realized in running and hiding I’d sided with the other kids, I’d learned to believe there was something wrong with me. And it wasn’t true.”

Are there any lies you’ve believed about yourself since you were a child that you’re coming to realize aren’t true? What has helped you see the truth?

Discussion #3: Real love

I appreciated watching Donald Miller come to understand what deep, lasting love looks like. It isn’t always glamorous or flashy—in fact, he calls it “that long, boring love that happens when a couple quietly eats cereal together while they read the paper.”

Do you think love is built mostly in small moments or big moments, or both?

Discussion #4: The upside of vulnerability

My favorite part of this book is the way it honestly describes the hard parts of vulnerability but also beautifully depicts the redemptive parts of sharing your true self with another person: “My flaws were the ways through which I would receive grace. We don’t think of our flaws as the glue that binds us to the people we love, but they are.”

Are there people in your life who see you as you are, flaws and all? How have these people given you glimpses of God’s grace?

Rating

I would give this book five stars (out of five). In my opinion, this is Donald Miller’s best and most honest book, and I’ve been forcing it on just about everyone I know.

How would you rate this book?

Remember: I’ll be giving away a free book to one lucky commenter! Respond by Friday to be eligible.