Archives for May 2017

May 25, 2017

The Scene of a Miracle

Have you ever been up close to a miracle before?

Maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of a miraculous healing that only could have come as the result of divine intervention. Maybe you’ve experienced a reconciliation that would have been impossible on human terms. Or maybe you’ve witnessed something that simply couldn’t be explained by a natural phenomenon.

I’ve seen miracles before—some of them on a smaller scale, and others that played out in grand fashion. I’ve seen sunsets and majestic mountain scenes that had to have been crafted by a divine hand. I’ve seen hardened hearts transformed. I’ve seen trapped people set free. I’ve seen sick people made well.

And I’ve heard of miracles too—stories from friends and family members and strangers who have had God step in and intervene in some powerful way. I’ve heard their tales of miraculous transformation, and their faith has made mine stronger.

As intangible as faith usually is, miracles bring faith to life through our senses—God breaks through the door of heaven and allows us to see or hear him in a more concrete way than we usually do. (That said, I’m not sure I’ve smelled or tasted a miracle before, although my grandmother’s cinnamon rolls come close.)

I may have seen and heard miracles before, but I can say this for sure: I’ve never felt a miracle.

Until now.

Now, for the first time, I’m experiencing a miracle from a whole new perspective. I find that my body is the very scene of a miracle.

Somehow, some way, there is a miracle growing inside of me—moving inside of me, kicking inside of me (maybe even doing pirouettes inside of me, the best I can tell). I didn’t create this life; I’ve merely been chosen as the setting for this child to grow.

As much as I do my best to create a safe, healthy place for my baby—curbing my coffee addiction, scrupulously skipping the blue cheese, making sure I don’t lift anything heavy—ultimately I play a small role in this miracle.

God is knitting this tiny person together, and I have the privilege of not only seeing it or hearing about it but actually feeling the miracle inside my body.

This pregnancy has had its share of bumps and scares, but regardless of the outcome, I don’t want to forget that this is a miracle—a nine-months-in-the-making miracle that is getting bigger and more miraculous by the day.

And here’s something I’ve learned about miracles along the way: like the fluttering kicks of a baby, they aren’t always obvious right away. They don’t always announce themselves with dramatic fanfare. Sometimes they start small and bashful, just waiting for us to quiet our hearts to notice them. And be grateful for them.

Maybe you are looking for a miracle right now. Maybe you’ve been waiting and longing and praying for so long that you are weary, almost scared to keep hoping.

If this is you, please don’t give up. You may very well be the scene of a miracle yourself. And that miracle may be starting even now, with the smallest of flutterings within your own heart.

I have always imagined miracles to be like loud shouts. Like trumpet blasts. But they are secretive. They are more like deeply buried seeds. . . . Always, God is tugging us toward resurrection, tugging us and this whole weary, winter world toward new life. But the way is dark. The road is long. The path is quiet. It is paved with hunger.

Christie Purifoy, Roots and Sky

May 17, 2017

A Letter to Our Baby

Dear Baby,

Your dad nicknamed you Spark. Months ago, before our scary ultrasound, he decided it was a fitting name. I never figured out how he came up with it, but it didn’t matter. It just seemed right.

And now more ever, the name suits you perfectly.

The doctor said some scary words in that office after your ultrasound . . . words like genetic abnormality and restricted fetal growth and stillbirth and preterm. Baby Spark, we don’t know exactly what’s happening, and as much as the doctors try to pin it all down, they really don’t know the whole story either.

Your dad and I have so many dreams and hopes for you. We wonder what your personality will be like, what you’ll be passionate about, what you’ll like and dislike, what you’ll be gifted at, if you’ll have your dad’s blue eyes or your mom’s single dimple. We’ve imagined so many possibilities for your future.

Spark, we wouldn’t have chosen any of those scary doctor-words for you. We would choose words like healthy and whole and perfect for you if we could. But don’t forget this for a moment: Although we wouldn’t choose this road for you, we choose YOU. No matter what.

And this is likely the first lesson of many to come for us: that as much as we love you, as much as we’re honored that you’ve been temporarily entrusted to us, you are not ultimately ours. You are God’s child, on loan to us. And so we don’t get to map out your life or control what happens to you—we just get to love you and raise you with the wisdom God grants us.

***

That day of the ultrasound, right after we got this news we weren’t expecting, your dad and I were sitting in the lobby of the hospital. Instead of going to a celebratory lunch before we headed back to work, we found ourselves perched on blue plastic chairs, trying to process what we’d heard. I was ugly-crying, not even caring about the stream of people staring at us as they made their way through the lobby.

Your dad was holding my hand, plying me with tissues. After a while he said something I’ll never forget: “I feel like our baby is saying to us, ‘I am a child of God.’”

That moment marked a pivot for me. It was at once obvious and revolutionary. If we truly believe you are a child of God—and we do—then our dreams and hopes and plans for you come second. We choose to surrender all our ideas in favor of what God has in mind for you.

That Sunday, just two days later, your dad played this song with the worship band in church:

From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name

Spark, we believe that no matter what happens, God is going to use you to shine for him. Maybe that will be because he surprises everyone and you enter this world miraculously healthy. Or maybe you will shine for him precisely because there’s something unique about you that this world would deem less than perfect.

I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

And so, Spark, we are trying to choose love instead of fear. We believe you are God’s beloved child. And we believe he is going to use you to ignite hearts for him. You are only the size of a cantaloupe, but already you are shining. Already we love you like crazy.

Love,
Mom and Dad

If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love.
Julian of Norwich

May 11, 2017

Announcing the Online Book Club for July!

Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Road Back to You! If you missed it, it’s not too late to join our discussion about personalities, deadly sins, and the Enneagram.

Congratulations to Allyson, the lucky winner of a free book! (Allyson, I’ll contact you privately about getting the book to you.)

And now . . . announcing the next book club selection! Fiction is up this time, and since it’s summer, I thought a young adult title was in order (although, as a fair warning, it’s not necessarily a beach read).

We’ll be reading A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness and discussing in July. Two fellow book lovers recommended the book to me, and I’m eager to hear what the buzz is about.

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.

But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming . . .

This monster is something different, though. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor.

It wants the truth.

We’ll be discussing the book in July—and remember, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter! Hope you will join us!

May 4, 2017

Book Discussion: The Road Back to You

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club on The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts to the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

***

I am a geek about personality types of all kinds—Myers-Briggs, the five love languages, even what your coffee selection says about your reading style. So suffice it to say I was fairly giddy when I starting hearing buzz about the Enneagram. A type system with a spiritual twist? Sign me up already! But the books I read just didn’t seem to click for me. I found myself unsure of my number (whatever that was) and confused about how this applied to my life.

Until I found The Road Back to You. This was the book I’d been looking for—one that brought the Enneagram from an esoteric level into real life. Ever since, I’ve been urging as many people as possible to read it—if only so we can share the same lingo (“Oh, that’s definitely what a 2 would do!” or “She must be a 7!”).

Discussion #1: The Spiritual Implications

One thing I found unique (and at times squirm-inducing) is that unlike other personality tests, the Enneagram doesn’t just pat you on the back and say, “Aww, you’re a golden retriever! Good for you! You are special!” It focuses not only on your strengths but also on your proclivity to sin. It’s not just about what you do but why you do it—your deeper motivations.

As I read, I found myself doing some gut-level introspection. Why do I do this? Why do I fall into this cycle with my loved one? And while this was convicting and at times uncomfortable, it was a growing experience for me to dig into parts of myself I take for granted and open my eyes to the unique temptations I face based on the way I’m wired.

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks. It is to measure oneself against Truth, and not the other way around.
Brother Dave

Did you learn anything about yourself as you read this book? Did you buy the concept of the Enneagram—that each type has certain strengths but is also driven by a particular sin?

Discussion #2: What’s Your Number?

One thing that surprised me about the Enneagram is that it wasn’t a straightforward process to determine my number. With other personality tests, I tend to get pretty consistent results, but in this case I took several different tests and got several different numbers. After doing some research, I found that this is not uncommon. And according to people much more well versed in the Enneagram than I am, the wrestling you go through on your way to discovering your number is actually an important part of the process. It forces us to dig deeper into who we really are and what makes us tick.

After back-and-forthing for a while, I think I’m a 6 (the Loyalist), which means my besetting sin is fear. I read somewhere that the description that makes you most uncomfortable is probably the one you are, and that sounds about right!

The original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us end up hardly living out of it at all. Instead we live out all the other selves, which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the world’s weather.
Frederick Buechner

What do you think your number is? Do you think it’s possible for people’s number to change over time?

Discussion #3: Diagnosing Other People

I know, I know—the authors urged us to worry more about our own number than other people’s, but I can’t help but diagnose everyone I meet now! Anyone with me? This may have downsides (I don’t want to box anyone in), but overall I’ve found the Enneagram to be helpful in understanding the people I love. When I can see what life is like through the lens of their unique disposition, I have more empathy and more ability to understand what they act the way they do.

For me to be a saint means to be myself.
Thomas Merton

Do you find yourself trying to type other people too? Has this book given you any insights into the people you love?

Rating

I would give this book 5 stars—not because it’s a literary masterpiece but because it has prompted hours of the good kind of introspection and some really meaningful conversations with friends. I recommend that you read it and then loan it to a friend. Then go get a big cup of coffee together and talk about until you get kicked out of the coffee shop!

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram, I also recommend the podcast that goes along with the book.

Remember: I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!