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Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

March 13, 2015

10 Minutes with God: Necessary Endings

alarm_clock_leftThis is my last week to write the devotions for my church about the book of Acts. (See this post, this post, and this post for previous devos.) You can listen to it as a podcast here.)

***

When we think about an earthquake, we tend to think about this geological phenomenon from the outside: the amount of shaking it results in, the buildings it tears down, the deaths and damage it causes, the havoc it wreaks. But there’s another side of the story too: what’s happening under the surface of the ground.

Geologically speaking, an earthquake occurs when there is a sudden release of energy in the Earth’s crust that creates seismic waves. Although we’re unaware of it, the earth is constantly pulsing as the crust is being recycled. Some experts refer to these regular blows—which amount to hundreds a day—as the planet’s heartbeat.

When the pent-up energy within the earth becomes too great, the tectonic plates, which have been storing up elastic energy, release it in a large burst. When this happens, there is a rupture in the fault lines—an earthquake. As destructive as this process can be, the shift is actually necessary to keep supporting human life as we know it on this earth. The earth has to shift in order to remain stable and relieve pressure.

When it comes to human relationships, there are times when seismic shifts are necessary as well. The fallout can be painful at times, but God can use these relational earthquakes to move people to where they need to be.

When Paul and Barnabas had an unresolvable conflict in Acts, it was a relational tremor that pushed them in different directions. But there were upsides to this split. Without this division, John Mark and Silas might not have had an opportunity to rise to the occasion and use their gifts to serve God in the early church.

Silas was already a leader in the early church when Paul chose him to accompany him on his second mission. But when this split occurred, he was given the opportunity to speak to believers in a larger area of the known world. It was during this journey that he and Paul were imprisoned in Philippi, when an earthquake broke their chains and opened the prison door. Without the conflict between Paul and Barnabas, Silas likely would never have experienced such a miracle.

We don’t know why John Mark deserted Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey. But as a result of the split, Barnabas took John Mark to Cyprus with him. He gave him another chance—an opportunity to restore trust and redeem what had been lost on the previous trip.

As painful as endings are in the moment, good can come out of these final chapters. In his book Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud talks about how we need to listen when God is bringing us to an ending in our lives: “In the language of Ecclesiastes, are there situations in business or in life where you are trying to birth things that should be dying? Trying to heal something that should be killed off? Laughing at something that you should be weeping about? Embracing something (or someone) you should shun? Searching for an answer for something when it is time to give up? Continuing to try to love something or someone when it is time to talk about what you hate?”

It’s hard to say good-bye to people or things. But there are some things God intends to give us for a season, and we need the Holy Spirit’s wisdom to show us when that season is over. Henry Cloud goes on to say, “Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”

2 Comments Filed Under: Scripture Reflections Tagged With: Acts, devotional, Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings, Scripture
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June 7, 2013

Tree Funerals and Other Necessary Endings

I’ve been to too many tree funerals lately.

 

First it was the big old elm tree in my parents’ front yard—the Climbing Tree, all of us kids called it.

 

I’d always thought the Giving Tree was a little over the top about a hunk of deadwood…until I found out my own Climbing Tree’s days were numbered.

 

It was the perfect tree for a kid, with its low, sturdy limbs to get you started and plenty of compact branches to perch on. After a summer day full of playing outside or helping my parents in the garden, I’d bring my book into the tree and sit in my reading spot—a “V” between branches that was cozy enough for me to be able to turn the pages of the next Anne of Green Gables book without having to hang on.

 

ending2

 

It was the first tree to turn gold in the fall, marking the commencement of my favorite season and ushering in my birthday. The tree was also my first glimpse of home when I returned from college, those sweeping branches beckoning welcome to a homesick heart.

 

So when my parents told me it was time to take down the old tree, I weakly argued for them to let it stand a little longer (after all, it still had six green leaves on it!). Deep down I knew it was time, but there’s inherent sadness that comes with taking an ax to something that was once so vibrant and full of life. It wasn’t just the end of the tree; it was the end of an era.

 

One day not long after my parents’ announcement about the Climbing Tree, I arrived home at my own place to find that all the trees lining our street had been systematically mowed down by orders of the city—casualties of the ash borer infestation. The stump of each tree had been spray-painted with neon letters that read “OK,” apparently an indication that there were no lingering signs of the guilty little vermin. But as I walked around our post-apocalyptic neighborhood inspecting each spot that had once held a tall symbol of life, I wanted to scream, “No! It’s not okay!”

 

ending3

***

I’ve been reading a book by Henry Cloud called Necessary Endings, and in it he talks about how sometimes we have to do the hard work of chopping down projects and relationships whose season has past.

 

“Good cannot begin until bad ends,” he says. “Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time.”

cloud2

Cloud says there are three categories of things that may need to end:

1. Healthy buds or branches that are not the best ones

2. Sick branches that are not going to get well

3. Dead branches that are taking up space needed for the healthy ones to thrive

 

As painful as endings are, we are wise to make the tough call and end these things now, before more damage is done.

 

Are there some necessary endings you need to bring about in your life?

  • Do you have a vampire-friend who is slowly sucking the life out of you?
  • Is there a relationship you know you should end but you’re hanging on to it because you’re afraid to be alone?
  • Is there some commitment that was once life giving but its season is now up?
  • Has God made it clear that your time at your job has come to an end, but fear is holding you back?

 

Necessary Endings are painful because we know the chainsaw is going to hurt. And once the tree is gone, it will leave behind a gaping hole—one we’ll likely tumble into for some time.

 

But as tempting as it is to put off the pain, delaying a needed ending only makes things worse. After all, the pain is there as a megaphone, telling us something needs to change. Henry Cloud puts it this way: “Pain by its nature is a signal that something is wrong, and action is required. So pain should be driving you to do something to end it.”

 

Here’s the thing: there won’t be a place to plant a new, healthy tree if the old diseased one stays there.

 

Is there a Necessary Ending you need to bring about so you can make way for a New Beginning? If so, let me know how I can pray for you as you rev up your chainsaw.

4 Comments Filed Under: Seasons Tagged With: Giving Tree, Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings, reading, Relationships, Shel Silverstein, trees
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