• Blog
  • Meet Stephanie
  • Writings
  • Blind Dating
  • Speaking
  • Book Club
  • Archives
  • Get in Touch

Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

March 1, 2013

February Book of the Month Club: The Meaning of Marriage

meaning-of-marriageThanks to everyone who joined our book of the month club for February! Our selection was The Meaning of Marriage, which I introduced here.

 Here’s how it works: I’ll bring up a few discussion topics, and I’d love to hear your reactions! You can put your thoughts about these topics (or others you’d like to talk about) in the comment section.

Discussion #1: The Purpose of Marriage
I found the Kellers’ perspective on marriage counter-cultural and refreshing. Marriage is not, they claim, about making us happy. It’s about making us more into the people God intended us to be.

 What, then, is marriage for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us. (page 120)

Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that.” (page 121)

What do you think the purpose of marriage is? In what ways have you seen marriage transform you or someone you know into your “future glory-self”?

Discussion #2: Marriage as a picture of the gospel
One of my favorite themes in the book is that marriage, at its core, is a reflection of the gospel. Taken from that perspective, the hardest seasons in a marriage become purposeful, and the good parts become infused with meaning.

When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. (page 95)

Marriage has the power of truth, the ability to reveal to you who you really are, with all your flaws. How wonderful that it also has the “power of love”—an unmatched power to affirm you and heal you of the deepest wounds and hurts of your life. (page 146)

To be truly known and truly loved—this is grace. How have you seen marriage as a picture of the gospel in your life or in the lives of those you know?

Discussion #3: Submission
I was pleasantly surprised to see that the book isn’t prescriptive about what submission should look like in individual marriages. I also appreciated that it rises above the usual skirmishes about surface-level submission and digs deeper into the theology behind it.

I especially resonated with the analogy of the marriage relationship as a reflection of the Trinity. Ideally, God intended marriage to be an invitation for “male and female…to mirror and reflect the ‘dance’ of the Trinity” (page 176). Put in that perspective, submission gets taken out of the context of power and put into the context of choice. Kathy puts it this way:

 Jesus’s willing acceptance of this role was wholly voluntary, a gift to his Father. I discovered here that my submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced from me. (page 175)

What do you think of the idea that submission is a reflection of the interaction between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? What do you think the authors get right in their exploration of submission, and what would you take issue with?

Discussion #4: Singleness
I was glad to see that this book includes a chapter on singleness since it’s valuable for all of us to have a solid theology of marriage, whether we’re married or not. But I have to say I was disappointed that single people seemed to be categorically lumped into two camps: those who idolize marriage and those who are terrified of it.

I couldn’t help but feel for the healthy, well-balanced people I know who aren’t married but would like to be. They aren’t under the illusion that marriage will be perfect or will solve all their problems, nor are they running away from marriage. Certainly some people fall into those categories, but I found myself bristling on behalf of anyone who reads this and feels like their singleness is being pushed back on them as their own fault.

What do you think? Did this chapter present an accurate picture of singleness in our culture?

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Not including the chapter on singleness, I would give this book five stars. I appreciated that it is both theological and practical, that it casts a sweeping vision for marriage yet is still rooted in the real world. I’d recommend it to everyone I know who is married or is considering marriage.

How many stars would you give this book?

{Reminder: I will give away a free book to one randomly selected commenter!}

4 Comments Filed Under: Book Club, book review Tagged With: Book Club, books, Christianity, Faith, free book, giveaway, gospel, Literature, marriage, The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on email
Email
Share on twitter
Twitter

February 5, 2013

Book of the Month Club: Announcing February’s Selection

meaning-of-marriageFirst of all, congratulations to Diane for winning the free book for January’s book discussion! (You can check out our lively conversation about twins and ghosts and mistaken identities here.}

And the book of the month for February is…The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller!

I’ve already started the book (thanks to Nancy and Kim for the Christmas present), and I’ve been highlighting so profusely that by now the white part is starting to stand out.

Here’s the blurb about this book:

Modern culture would have you believe that everyone has a soul mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that marriage does not mean till death do us part, but merely for as long as my needs are being met; and that when serious differences arise, divorce is the best solution.

According to the Bible, all of these modern-day assumptions miss what marriage is all about. In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller, along with Kathy, his wife of thirty-six years, draws a profound portrait of marriage from the pages of Scripture that neither idealizes nor rejects the institution but points us back to the relationship between God and man. The result is a vision for marriage that is refreshingly frank and unsentimental, yet hopeful and beautiful. This book is for anyone from singles, to couples considering marriage, to those who have been married recently or for a long time.

 If you’d like to hear more, check out the interview of the authors sharing about the book here.

We’ll be discussing the book at the end of February (and again, there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter). Please join us!

 

5 Comments Filed Under: Book Club Tagged With: Book Club, books, free book, giveaway, Literature, marriage, religion, The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on email
Email
Share on twitter
Twitter

welcome_stephanie_rische

Welcome!

I’m so glad you stopped by. I hope you will find this to be a place where the coffee’s always hot, there’s always a listening ear, and there’s grace enough to share.
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Personal Delivery

Sign up here to have every new post, special newsletters, and book club news delivered straight to your inbox. (No carrier pigeons will be harmed in this delivery.)

Free eBook

20 Days of Prayers...just for you!
Submit your email to receive a FREE copy!

    Recently

    • To My Son on His 2nd Birthday
    • Everlasting Arms
    • A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday
    • A Letter to My Son on His First Day of Preschool
    • Buy the Land

    Book Club

    • August 2018
    • July 2017
    • April 2017
    • November 2016
    • August 2016
    • March 2016
    • March 2016
    • December 2015
    • September 2015
    • July 2015
    • May 2015
    • January 2015

    Favorite Categories

    • Friday Favorites
    • Grace
    • Literature
    • Scripture Reflections
    • Writing

    Other Places to Find Me

    • Faith Happenings
    • CT Women
    • Boundless
    • Single Matters

    Connect With Me

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Pinterest

    All Content © 2010-2014 by Stephanie Rische • Blog Design & Development by Sarah Parisi of Parisi Images • Additional Site Credits