Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Bling Dating

I recently received a message from someone who read my book. They said lots of nice things about it, but the main thing that stuck out to me was the delicious typo:

“I loved your book about bling dating!”

My mind immediately wandered to what “bling dating” would look like. Would you get loud, flashy jewelry from your date each time you went out? Or would it mean you would wear as much bling as possible on your dates?

This was definitely not my story, as I’m pretty sure the only accessory I was wearing when I met Daniel was a bicycle helmet. But I do love a good malapropism.

These thoughts about bling and jewelry and accessorizing got to me to thinking about the precious women I met in Thailand who make lovely handmade jewelry. Thanks to the grace of God and the help of a nonprofit organization in Bangkok, these women have come out of the sex industry and are learning trades such as jewelry making so they can begin a new life.

My dream for those who read my book is the same dream I have for the women I met in Thailand: that they will know they are loved and of infinite worth and value in their Father’s eyes.

Is there someone in your life who just might need to hear the message of this book—someone who is waiting for something, someone who is in need of hope, someone who needs to know that they are loved and enough just as they are?

I’d love to send three people jewelry handmade by women in Thailand. Let me know in the comments or through a private message that you bought my book for someone, and you’ll be eligible to win one of these beautiful pieces of bling!

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Newsflash from my publisher: My memoir is currently on sale at Tyndale’s website for 30 percent off! Order before Sunday to get the discount!

Blind Dating and Your Myers Briggs Type

I have been a personality-type geek for a long time, and I’ve always wondered how your particular personality plays into your dating style. So I’m over the moon to be able to share this chart with you, showing how each personality type might respond to a blind date. (Disclaimer: Note that my last name is not Myers or Briggs, so please don’t hold either of them responsible if your description doesn’t match up to your own dating experiences.)

I’d love to hear what your personality type is and if this description fits you! (If you don’t know your personality type, you can take a Myers Briggs type quiz.)

 

Blind Dating Myers Briggs jpg

Laughing at Our Stories

girls morning

Confession: I’m a recovering serious person. I used to take things uber-seriously. (Sometimes I still do, but I’m getting serious about lightening up.) I took my failures seriously. I took God seriously. And most of all, I took myself seriously. And while it’s certainly important to give our best effort to our work, our relationships, and our faith, I think sometimes the best thing we can do is laugh.

I think God himself has a sense of humor . . . not a twisted, sardonic sense of humor, but a delightful, belly-laughing kind. And I’m convinced that while he cares about my problems, sometimes he pats me on the head and says, “Oh, child, try to lighten up a little. Someday this isn’t going to seem like The End of the World. I promise, one day you’ll be able to laugh about this.”

Laughter doesn’t always come easily, but it may be a discipline every bit as much as prayer and study. In fact, sometimes laughter is the most spiritual thing we can do. Laughter is one of the best ways to unburden our souls and ease the load of another.

Laughter is carbonated holiness.
Anne Lamott

Over the course of my eight flopped blind dates, I did my share of tear-shedding, especially when I felt rejected or when I wondered if God would ever answer my longing for someone to share life with. But I learned something else too: sometimes it was okay—healthy, even—to laugh. The best thing I could do for my soul in those moments of embarrassment and/or disappointment was to embrace my story, quirks and pitfalls and all, and laugh.

So now I’d love to hear from you. What’s YOUR date story that you can laugh about now, in retrospect? Here’s an added challenge: see if you can share your story in 20 words or less.

Here are a few examples to get you started. (Full stories included in my book!)

  • Got a theological grilling from the guy before he’d progress to date #2. Eschatology + Caesar wrap = indigestion.
  • Off-duty limo driver made me sit in the backseat. Had our first conversation through the rearview mirror.

Okay, your turn! I’ll give away a free copy of my book to someone who shares their story!

Bonus: If you’d like to share your stories in person (or hear other people’s stories), please join us for a Girls’ Morning Out at Prairie Path Books in Wheaton. There will be coffee, chocolate, stories, and laughs . . . plus free giveaways! Hope you can join us!

Announcing the Winner of My Book!

random numberThanks to all of you who shared your stories of God’s grace showing up in unexpected ways this week. I am honored to stand in this sacred space with you, and I am inspired by your courage and vulnerability.

Congratulations to Debbie, who won a free copy copy of my book! (Debbie, I’ll send you a separate message about getting the book to you.)

Meanwhile, wishing you all grace and love in abundance.

What’s Your Story?

booksI have a secret to tell you about stories. Please don’t tell my publisher, though, because this could really wreak havoc on the publishing world. Here it is: We all have the same story.

Yes, the details are different in every person’s story. And we all have our own setting and characters and timeline. But the truth is, our basic plot is the same: We all flub up this thing we call life. And we all find ourselves in desperate need of God’s grace.

The backdrop of my book is that treacherous pastime we call dating. For me, the thing that broke me and brought me flat on my face was a season of singleness that stretched on much longer than I anticipated. That’s where God showed up and revealed his grace and love to me in ways beyond my wildest imaginings.

But as I’ve listened to your stories, I’ve noticed something. Although the specifics of your story may be different from mine, our gracious God is still the same. And he tends to reveal himself in similar ways, even if the details are different.

  • Maybe you’re not waiting for a husband, but you’re waiting for something else that is breaking your heart. Maybe you’re waiting for a job or a baby or a prodigal or healing. And God seems silent.
  • Maybe you, too, have one prayer that keeps tripping you up.
  • Maybe you, too, have had moments when it feels too dangerous to keep hoping.
  • Maybe you, too, have a desire for something that doesn’t seem any closer to happening than it was a year ago.
  • Maybe you, too, feel stuck when everyone around you seems to be moving on with their life.
  • Maybe you, too, know what it’s like to be lonely, afraid, or invisible.
  • Maybe you, too, have wondered where God is in the midst of your pain.

My book isn’t just about blind dates or being single; it’s about being knocked over by the love and grace of God. And that love and grace are available no matter what circumstance you’re facing.

So I’d like to hear from you. When has God shown up in an unexpected way for you? When have you been amazed by his grace, hemmed in by his love? I would be honored to hear your story.

Write your comment below, and I will give away a free book to one commenter!

How a Book Cover Is Born

Blind Dating

I’ve heard that it takes a village to raise a child. I don’t know about that, but in the past year I have learned this: it certainly takes a village to make a book.

I’m thrilled to be sharing something exciting with you today: the cover for my memoir, I Was Blind (Dating), but Now I See!

Since I work in book publishing, I have an inside peek into some of things that happen to turn a bunch of typed-up words into something you can hold in your hands. But until it was my own book, I don’t think I had a true appreciation for the creativity, teamwork, and sheer hard work that go into making that a reality.

I have been amazed and grateful for all the good people at Tyndale who have taken the humble Word document I gave them and metamorphosed it into something lovely—with a charming illustration on the front, pretty fonts, little spots of shiny foil, a texture-y cover, and nice paper.

There are so many people to thank for their role in the whole process (please check out the acknowledgments at the back of the book!), but today I want to give you a sneak peek into how my amazing designer, Jackie, created the cover for the book.

First, my book team sent me a survey about my vision for the cover. Alas, I have practically zero skills when it comes to all things design-related, so I threw around a lot of words to describe what I wanted it to feel like. Fortunately Jackie was able to translate my thousand words into a single picture, and she captured the exact tone I was looking for. The truth is, I didn’t know what I was hoping the cover would look like until I saw it.

Here’s how Jackie came up with the design. First, she read the manuscript. Then she and a handful of other designers brainstormed cover possibilities and sketched them out. After all the designers gave feedback, they narrowed it down to their top three and presented them to the book team. Then the book team chose their favorite (which just so happens to be my favorite too).

Once the cover direction was chosen, Jackie found an illustrator to do the sketch. This will give you an idea of how much attention she pays to detail: she actually sent the illustrator a photo of me so the sketch would be as accurate as possible. (I should note it’s not entirely accurate, however, because I could only dream that my hair would look so good in real life.) She even gave the illustrator suggestions about what the guys might look like based on the descriptions in the book. (For all your former blind dates out there, please note that the silhouette format will protect your identity, so there’s no need to contact your lawyer.)

Credit also goes the talented Sarah Parisi, who created StephanieRische.com and my logo, which serves as the byline on the cover. She’s also a gifted photographer, and she took the picture of me on the back cover. I’m grateful for her creative eye and expertise that helped launch this adventure in earnest two years ago.

If you would like to see the beautiful cover in person, you can order it online, or you can come to a book signing on Saturday, February 6, at 2:00 at the Barnes and Noble in Geneva Commons. (I will be the one up front wondering how this introvert found herself reading mortifying clips about her dating life aloud in a public place.)

My Month of Dating Disasters

Today marks the two-year anniversary of my first date with the man I married, so it seems fitting to reflect on the person who has been one of the most tangible expressions of God’s grace in my life.

When I met Daniel, I was taken with him from the very beginning—“smitten,” as my sister frequently reminded me. So I wanted to do everything I could to make a good impression on this man. It quickly became apparent that wasn’t meant to be. Within the span of just a few dates, I managed to make an egregious fool of myself on three separate occasions.

Occasion #1: The two-smoke alarm dinner

I’m not exactly a cook, but I do have about three standby meals I feel fairly confident about whipping together. Daniel was coming over for dinner and we were still in the “under three” category, so while I was a bit nervous, I wasn’t panicking. The star of the meal was my sister’s famous focaccia bread recipe, something I’d made plenty of times before.

However, it wasn’t long before my visions of golden-brown crusty deliciousness went up in smoke—literally. Daniel and I were chatting in my kitchen when suddenly I heard the piercing beep of not one but two smoke detectors. I opened the oven to discover, to my horror, that the bread wasn’t just overcooked. It was actually on fire. So much for Betty Crocker.

Occasion #2: The face plant

Something you should know about me is that my footwear of choice tends to be slippers or flip-flops, depending on the season. Any heel measured in something larger than centimeters is reserved for the occasional bridesmaid duty. I’m not sure what possessed me to wear the strappy, impractical sandals on my third date with Daniel, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

That night as Daniel walked me to my car, I never saw the tree branch protruding from the grass. I was on the ground before I knew what had hit me. It wasn’t one of those graceful missteps either—it was an all-out tumble, the kind where you biff so hard you don’t have time to break the fall and the contents of your purse spill out all over the grass. Hypothetically speaking.

Occasion #3: The navigational disaster

It was the fourth of July, and Daniel was going to a picnic to meet my church friends for the first time. I’m infamous for my navigational impairments, but I hadn’t exactly mentioned that to Daniel yet. I had carefully researched and printed out directions, and I thought I was ready.

Until we got to the street where the party was being hosted…and there was no house with the specified number. After some unproductive wandering and several confusing phone calls, I finally discovered that the address was indeed correct…but the city was not. Uh, yes, minor detail.

***

As chagrined as I was for royally botching things up on each occasion, ultimately these flubs turned out to be the best thing that could have happened in our young relationship. For one thing, Daniel might as well have known from the beginning who I am: a girl who is, inherently, a mess. A girl who can’t go many consecutive dates before things go up in smoke.

And it turned out that my faux pas gave me a glimpse into the character of this man I was coming to appreciate more and more. In each situation, Daniel responded with the kind of grace that made my knees go weak. As the smoke alarms went off, he fanned the air and assured me we had plenty of food to eat. After my spill, he helped me off the ground and gently made sure I was okay. When I found myself directionally flustered, he patiently drove around a three-city radius until we finally reached our destination.

I received the gift of his grace that month, and I also had the rare window of seeing how this man would respond one day in the future, when the stakes were higher than burned bread. Two years later, I see that my hunch was right: this man is a daily reflection of God’s grace to me.

Happy two years of knowing you, Daniel Rische.

“I do not understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”

—Anne Lamott