Book Discussion: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

June 7, 2016

Book Discussion: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Thanks for joining us for the virtual book club! It’s easy to participate. Just read the book, and then at your own convenience, add your thoughts in the comments section. You can respond to any of these discussion questions—or just say what you thought of the book.

And as a bonus, I’ll give away a free book to one lucky commenter!

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I have to say that I was a reluctant adopter to read this book. I prefer to read books where the story is the main thing, whether that’s in the form of a novel or a memoir. The problem with self-help books is that they typically require you to do something besides sit in a comfy chair and read. But so many people were talking about this book (many of whom claimed it changed their life, just as the title promises) that I finally caved.

Here’s my take, in a nutshell: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up didn’t change my life, but it did change my closet.

Discussion #1: What is your tolerance for clutter?

The author claims that “tidying up” isn’t just about having fewer belongings or about being organized; it’s about freeing yourself up to become the person you were meant to be.

Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.

She has a point here—when we have too much stuff, it can certainly bog us down. But I think everyone has a different level of comfort with clutter. Some people enjoy space for a little creative messiness; other people feel peace when their counters are clean and their closets are organized.

Where do you fall on the spectrum? How much clutter is too much for you?

Discussion #2: What tips resonated with you?

I appreciated that this book encouraged some self-reflection not just about what we keep but about why we keep it. As I went through my clothes, I realized my default question is typically “Do I wear this?” not “Does this spark joy?”

When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.

Serendipitously, I read this book the week after my company changed their dress code to allow jeans. I don’t think I had realized up to this point that dress pants spark zero joy in my life. As I write this, I am happily wearing jeans, and my dress pants are on a rack at Goodwill, hoping to spark joy in a new owner.

Was there something you got rid of after reading this book? How did you feel after you got rid of it? Do you tend to hold on to things because of sentimentality or a desire to prepared?

Discussion #3: What parts of the book didn’t click for you?

While I felt like I could glean insight form the author’s overall principles, some of her specifics were a little on the wonky side for me. She sounds very earnest in her claim that “folding is really a form of dialogue with your wardrobe.” Now I may have conversations with my laundry, but usually it’s a one-sided ordeal with exclamations like “Oh dear, I left you in the washer overnight.”

The part where my blood pressure started rising, however, was the section on books. For all that the author claims that objects have feelings, there is a surprising lack of sensitivity toward my beloved book-friends.

The true purpose [of books] is to be read, to convey the information to their readers.

There is no meaning in their just being on your shelves.

What?! Books aren’t just vehicles of information; they are companions for life! I confess to being rather horrified about her former habit of slicing pages out of books to keep the pages that sparked joy and discard the rest. I did get rid of a few titles that fall into the category of “books I feel like I should read but probably never will,” but that did little to pare down my three stuffed bookshelves.

So what are you sentimental about? For me it’s books, but for you maybe it’s photos, knickknacks, or gifts. What didn’t work for you in the KonMari method?

Rating

I would give this book three stars (out of five).

I’d say it’s worth reading as long as you go into it with the idea that you can personalize these concepts so they make sense for you—for your personality and your home and your unique situation. Weed out the wonky parts (like taping shut the eyes of your stuffed animals before giving them away), and just use what works for you. But if you’re in need of inspiration to declutter, this will give you the spark you need.

How would you rate this book?

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Remember: I’m giving away a FREE BOOK to one lucky commenter! Just write a comment about the book below to be eligible.

April 5, 2016

Book Club Selection for May

Thanks to everyone who participated in our conversation about A Man Called Ove, where we talked about crotchety old men, cats, and finding purpose in life.

Congratulations to Linda, the winner of the free book giveaway! (Linda, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

Our next online book selection is The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I’ve been hearing so much buzz about this book lately, and besides, now that it’s April, I’m feeling the spring cleaning itch. I hope you’ll join me in reading (and possibly even tidying up)!

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

This guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes readers step-by-step through her revolutionary KonMari Method for simplifying, organizing, and storing.

Despite constant efforts to declutter your home, do papers still accumulate like snowdrifts and clothes pile up like a tangled mess of noodles?

Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes tidying to a whole new level, promising that if you properly simplify and organize your home once, you’ll never have to do it again. Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. The KonMari Method, with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results. In fact, none of Kondo’s clients have lapsed (and she still has a three-month waiting list).

With detailed guidance for determining which items in your house “spark joy” (and which don’t), this book featuring Tokyo’s newest lifestyle phenomenon will help you clear your clutter and enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home—and the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire.

We’ll be discussing this book at the end of May. I hope you will join us!

April 1, 2016

Book Discussion: A Man Called Ove

If I were to pick a handful of words to describe this book, I’d have to go with quirky, endearing, and hopeful. And above all, charming. Which, when you come to think of it, are not exactly the words you might expect for a book that opens with an old man making plans to commit suicide. Despite the premise, this book had some delightfully humorous moments, and I had that pleasant kind of lump in my throat throughout the whole thing. I fell in love with curmudgeonly old Ove, and it was one of those books I couldn’t bear to finish because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him yet.

Discussion #1: Are you going to be a crotchety old man (or woman) someday?

Ove stuck to his routines, he liked what he liked, he resisted modern advances, and he balked at change.

This was a world where one became outdated before one’s time was up. An entire country standing up and applauding the fact that no one was capable of doing anything properly anymore. The unreserved celebration of mediocrity. No one could change tires. Install a dimmer switch. Lay some tiles. Plaster a wall. File their own taxes. These were all forms of knowledge that had lost their relevance.

Do you know anyone like Ove? In what ways are you like him (or do you see yourself becoming like him in the future)?

Discussion #2: Everyone has a story.

I appreciate the way Ove’s story unfolds gradually throughout the book, and we come to realize why he is the way he is—and that underneath his gruff exterior, he actually has a kind heart.

All people at root are time optimists. We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like “if.”

Do you know anyone who seems tough on the outside but is actually a softie? What does this book say to you about savoring the moments we have with the ones we love?

Discussion #3: Every life has value.

Ove is practical guy—he loves things that are useful and have a specific purpose. But when he loses his wife and his job, he finds himself feeling useless and wondering if there’s any purpose left for him.

What would you say to someone like Ove who didn’t think they had a reason for living anymore?

Discussion #4: On loving well—and grieving well.

Ove eventually finds community—or more accurately, community finds him—in the form of his quirky band of neighbors and a pesky cat that refuses to go away. And in finding community, he starts to process his loss and find purpose again.

Sorrow is unreliable in that way. When people don’t share it there’s a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.

I think this is one of the loveliest passages about old love I’ve ever read:

“To love someone is like moving into a house,” Sonja used to say. “At first you fall in love in everything new, you wonder every morning that this is one’s own, as if they are afraid that someone will suddenly come tumbling through the door and say that there has been a serious mistake and that it simply was not meant to would live so fine. But as the years go by, the facade worn, the wood cracks here and there, and you start to love this house not so much for all the ways it is perfect in that for all the ways it is not. . . . That’s it, all the little secrets that make it your home.”

Rating

I would give this book five stars (out of five) for its rare blend of humor and profundity, for its vividly drawn characters, and for its insights into aging, death, and life.

How many stars would you give this book?

{Be sure to add your comment—I’m giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!}

January 13, 2016

Announcing the Book Club for March

Thanks to everyone who participated in our book discussion about Wearing God!

And now, announcing the next selection for our online book club, which we’ll discuss at the beginning of March: A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman.

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

In this bestselling and delightfully quirky debut novel from Sweden, a grumpy yet loveable man finds his solitary world turned on its head when a boisterous young family moves in next door. Meet Ove. He’s a curmudgeon, the kind of man who points at people he dislikes as if they were burglars caught outside his bedroom window. He has staunch principles, strict routines, and a short fuse. People call him the bitter neighbor from hell, but must Ove be bitter just because he doesn’t walk around with a smile plastered to his face all the time? Behind the cranky exterior there is a story and a sadness. So when one November morning a chatty young couple with two chatty young daughters move in next door and accidentally flatten Ove’s mailbox, it is the lead-in to a comical and heartwarming tale of unkempt cats, unexpected friendship, and the ancient art of backing up a U-Haul. All of which will change one cranky old man and a local residents’ association to their very foundations. A feel-good story in the spirit of The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry and Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand, Fredrik Backman’s novel about the angry old man next door is a thoughtful and charming exploration of the profound impact one life has on countless others.

We’ll discuss this book at the beginning of March. Remember: there will be a free book giveaway for one lucky commenter!

December 18, 2015

Book Club Discussion: Wearing God

Thanks to everyone who read Wearing God by Lauren Winner. I’m looking forward to hearing what you thought of the book!

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out a few topics for discussion, and you can write your responses about these topics (or anything else you’d like to say) in the comment section.

I have been a fan of Lauren Winner’s writing for years (I loved Girl Meets God, and I had the privilege of hearing her speak at The Festival of Faith and Writing several years ago). As someone who finds it hard to get my brain around something as big and mysterious and intangible as the nature of God, I am constantly seeking metaphors and analogies to piece together a truer understanding of him. I was excited to read Winner’s book about some of the more obscure or overlooked metaphors the Bible uses to describe God’s character.

Discussion #1: Images of God

Lauren Winner says that as a Christian community, we tend to overemphasize certain names/metaphors for God (Shepherd, King, Father) while overlooking others that would help give us a more fleshed-out picture of his character. She explores the idea of God as clothing, smell, bread and wine, a laboring woman, laughter, and fire, and unpacks these metaphors in striking ways.

I began to realize that my pictures of God were old. They were not old in the sense of antique champagne flutes, which are abundant with significance precisely because they are old. . . . Rather, they were old like a seventh-grade health textbook from 1963: moderately interesting for what it might say about culture and science in 1963, but generally out of date.

Do you agree that some of our images of God are old and worn out? Which image/metaphor of God do you resonate with most (either from this book or in general)?

Discussion #2: Scandalous Comparisons

I have to admit that some of the metaphors for God made me a little squeamish. Really, isn’t it a little undignified to picture the God of the universe as a pregnant woman agonizing in a birthing room? And isn’t it, well, indecorous to think of God wanting us to become drunk on him? But as I read, it occurred to me that that’s exactly the point. We tend to put God in a tidy little box so we can pin him down and understand him, but over and over the Bible blows our minds with how God is so far beyond our comprehension.

This is why Jesus is hymned not as grape juice but as wine: because He is dangerous and excessive.

Were there any images for God that didn’t sit well with you? Why or why not?

Discussion #3: Redefining Goodness

As I read this book, it occurred to me that one of the reasons we tend to shy away from certain metaphors about God is because they don’t seem to line up with our view of a good God. If God is fire, doesn’t that indicate he has the power to destroy as well as create? We are scared of this idea of an untamable God, so we stick to metaphors that we perceive as less threatening. But Winner gives us broader perspective, reminding us that while yes, God is good, that doesn’t mean we’ll never experience pain or hardship.

Maybe, if God is fire, we are a grove of ponderosa pines. Without the heat and burn of God’s flame, our pinecones would remain closed tight around the seeds that are needed for our thriving and growth and new life.

Have you ever seen God as fire in your life, not only bringing warmth but also purifying you?

Discussion #4: God as One Who Hides

One of the final descriptions the author offers of God is as one who hides. She quotes Isaiah as saying “You are a God who hides himself”—Deus absconditus.

Sometimes God hides. Sometimes what I might first name as God’s absence is in fact God’s hiding. In a sense, God hides amid all the many divine metaphors and similes that litter the scriptures. This is a God who conceals and reveals.

Have you ever experienced a season when it seems that God is hiding? How are you encouraged by this promise in Jeremiah: “When you search for me, you will find me”?

Discussion #5: Rating

I would give this book 4 stars out of 5. I don’t agree with all of the author’s theology, but I appreciate the way she tackles some intriguing (and often difficult) pictures of God. This book got me thinking about God’s character more deeply, and I found myself connecting with him in new ways as a result.

How many stars would you give this book?

Remember: There will a giveaway for a free book for one lucky commenter!

September 30, 2015

Announcing the Book Club for November . . .

Thanks to everyone who participated in our discussion about The Girl on the Train. I enjoyed everyone’s comments about strong/flawed characters, fast-paced plots, and literary train wrecks. Congratulations to Sara, the winner of the book giveaway (number generated by random.org). Sara, I’ll send you a separate message about getting the book to you.

Our next book discussion in November will be . . .

Wearing God by Lauren Winner

Here’s the description from the publisher’s website:

Lauren F. Winner—a leading writer at the crossroads of culture and spirituality and author of Still and Girl Meets God—joins the ranks of luminaries such as Anne Lamott and Barbara Brown Taylor with this exploration of little known—and, so, little used—biblical metaphors for God, metaphors which can open new doorways for our lives and spiritualities.

There are hundreds of metaphors for God, but the church only uses a few familiar images: creator, judge, savior, father. In Wearing God, Lauren Winner gathers a number of lesser-known tropes, reflecting on how they work biblically and culturally, and reveals how they can deepen our spiritual lives.

Exploring the notion of God as clothing, Winner reflects on how we are “clothed with Christ” or how “God fits us like a garment.” She then analyzes how clothing functions culturally to shape our ideals and identify our community, and ruminates on how this new metaphor can function to create new possibilities for our lives. For each biblical metaphor—God as the vine/vintner who animates life; the lactation consultant; and the comedian, showing us our follies, for example—Winner surveys the historical, literary, and cultural landscapes in order to revive and heal our souls.

Hope you can join us! Remember, there is a free book giveaway each time!

September 25, 2015

Book Discussion: The Girl on the Train

Thanks for participating in our virtual book discussion! This month we’re talking about The Girl on the Train.

Here’s how it works: I’ll throw out a few topics for discussion, and you can write your responses about these topics (or anything else you’d like to say) in the comment section.

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This isn’t the type of book I typically enjoy, but it has been buzzing all over the internet for months, and I finally caved, if only to see what all the hubbub was about. The story follows Rachel, who takes a commuter train each morning and watches a seemingly perfect couple eating breakfast on their deck. Her own life, meanwhile, is a train wreck (sorry for the bad pun!). Then tragedy strikes the couple, and Rachel finds herself deeply entangled in the case.

Discussion #1: The Characters

My struggle with this book was that although the characters were well drawn, I didn’t like any of them. I did feel sorry for Rachel, but mostly I just cringed as she continued to drink and send irretrievable e-mails to Tom and generally dig herself deeper into a pit. And that’s to say nothing of the other characters, who were pretty much all liars and backstabbers.

What about you? Did you find any of the characters likable? What did you think of Rachel as a main character?

Discussion #2: Suspense Factor

Despite not liking the characters, I have to admit that, as Paula Hawkins’s publisher Sarah McGrath says, this is “a very propulsive read.” The mystery unfolds in such a jarring yet compelling way that I had no choice but to keep reading. Rachel’s blackouts add to the suspense, making it difficult to discern what is true, and her unreliable memories and self-doubt leave us questioning what her role really was. I liked the way the author wove in three different narrators to tell the story to heighten the suspense and to force us to piece it all together.

Did the story keep your attention? Do you tend to like suspense as a genre?

Discussion #3: The Role of Women

It’s interesting that this story revolves around several women competing over a man, but in the end, it’s the women who take justice into their hands for a satisfying (if somewhat contrived and gruesome) finale. The author doesn’t delve deeply into gender roles, but she does touch on them, such as when Rachel says, “Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their roles as mothers. I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless.”

What did you think of the women portrayed in this book? Were they strong or seriously flawed, or both?

Discussion #4: Rating

I kept hearing this book compared to Gone Girl, and while there were some similarities (like the alternating points of view and an unreliable narrator), I thought Gone Girl pulled off these effects better than The Girl on the Train.

As much as I was sucked in by the suspense of the story, it was painful to read about so much deception, and I’m not sure the payoff was worth it for me. I’d give the book 2 stars (out of five).

How many stars would you give this book?

{Remember, I’ll be giving away a free book to one lucky commenter!}

August 5, 2015

Announcing the Next Book Club Selection: The Girl on the Train

Thanks to everyone who participated in our last book discussion about Scary Close! You can read our thoughts about vulnerability and the kind of love that eats cereal together every morning here.

Congratulations to Kristy, the winner of the free book giveaway! (Kristy, I’ll send you a private message about getting the book to you.)

Our next book club selection is The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. Here’s the description from the back of the book:

Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. “Jess and Jason,” she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel offers what she knows to the police, and becomes inextricably entwined in what happens next, as well as in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

Compulsively readable, The Girl on the Train is an emotionally immersive, Hitchcockian thriller and an electrifying debut.

We will be discussing the book in September. Hope you’ll join us!