Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

Archives for February 2016

Announcing the Giveaway Winners…

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Thanks to the creative team at Tyndale for making this lovely meme for my book! Incidentally (word nerd alert!), did you know that meme was initially short for mimeme? Clearly meme is catchier. (Thanks to Mrs. Ellcessor for getting me hooked on etymology.)

In other news, it has been fun to have so many giveaways lately! See if you are one of the lucky winners…

Congratulations to Tiffanie, who won a copy of I Was Blind (Dating), but Now I See! (Thanks for sharing your funny dating story, Tiffanie!)

Congratulations to Amanda, who won Aubrey Sampson’s book Overcomer!

And congratulations to Jenni, who won Kate Hurley’s book Cupid Is a Procrastinator!

(I will contact each of you privately about getting the book to you.)

I hope your day is filled with reminders of God’s grace all around you.

Seven Decades of Love

g-and-g-weddingMy grandparents just celebrated their 70th anniversary. I keep trying to wrap my brain around that number, but I can’t seem to. SEVENTY YEARS. When they got married, there was no Tupperware, no credit cards, no White-Out, no barcodes, no disposable diapers.

They’ve lived through a lot in these seven decades. They rejoiced when Grandpa made it back safely from World War II, and they got married as soon as possible, on a Tuesday morning. They had twelve children in the span of fourteen years. (Remember the part about no disposable diapers?!) They built a huge bench on one side of the kitchen table to accommodate their growing family and made do with a seemingly insurmountable person-to bathroom ratio.

They witnessed the birth of the next generation (their grandchildren) and now the next (their great-grandchildren). They marveled as family reunions numbered in the hundreds . . . and reached unprecedented decibels. They persevered after Grandpa’s stroke, moving into a place that required less upkeep.

Now Grandma and Grandpa have a daily routine of simple love: eating lunch together and then taking naps side by side in their reclining chairs. Grandpa sleeps a lot now and no longer talks much, but Grandma cheerfully carries the conversation.

One of my favorite stories about Grandma and Grandpa is how they got engaged. Grandpa was flying planes in Europe while Grandma spent Thanksgiving with Grandpa’s parents and brother. After dinner, Grandpa’s brother pulled out the ring on his little brother’s behalf, having gotten specific instructions on size, style, and cut. Grandpa may not have been there physically, but his love was. Their love tethered them across an ocean, across multiple time zones, across a war.

In some ways, it’s not so different now. Grandpa is there physically, but he’s not the strong, vibrant, intellectual man he used to be. Still, their love is no less present. Even now, their love tethers them across sickness, age, loss, and change.

When I wished Grandma a happy anniversary last week, she said, “Honey, we’re so blessed. We’ve had so many more happy years than hard years. I wish you and Daniel all the years and all the love we’ve had.”

In 1943, just a few years before my grandparents got married, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, wrote a letter to a young bride and groom from his prison cell in Nazi Germany. These were his words of counsel: “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”

Daniel and I just celebrated our 5-year engagement anniversary. In some ways that seems so long—have we really known each other for half a decade? And then I think of Grandma and Grandpa and their seventy years, and I realize we are still so new at this. We don’t know what the future holds in the years ahead, but whatever comes, I pray for that tethering love . . . the kind that sustains through war and age and time. And I thank God because that love isn’t something we have to manufacture ourselves. It’s something that overflows from him.

Only 65 more years to go, my love! (But don’t do the math . . . )

Friday Favorites for February

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Happy Friday, everyone! Here are a few of my recent favorites that I wanted to share with you . . . plus an UnValentine’s book giveaway!

For anyone who thinks Valentine’s Day is overrated . . .

Kate Hurley’s book, Cupid Is a Procrastinator, is a breath of fresh air in the world of singles’ books. This isn’t a how-to-snag-a-mate book or an embrace-the-gift-of-singleness book; it’s more like a friend who knows how you’re feeling when you’re standing up in your third wedding or dreading another solo Valentine’s Day. I’m giving away a free copy of this book—just tell me about a less-than-stellar Valentine’s Day in the comments section! (If you don’t win, the ebook is on sale for $.99 the rest of February!) Cupid Is a Procrastinator

For anyone who appreciates longhand . . .

I’ve always loved the handwritten form over type, whether it’s class notes, letters, or even book writing. I thought it was just because I’m a Luddite, but it turns out there’s some science behind it. Handwriting Helps You Learn

For anyone who struggles with contentment . . .

Did you know there are times when it’s okay not to be content? This is a great list by Lina Abujamra. Don’t Be Content

For anyone who knows what the dark cloud of insecurity feels like . . .

Sharon Hodde Miller says, “In many cases, the answer to insecurity is not more affirmation or positive self-talk. Not even the Christian kind. Instead you need to look hard in the face of insecurity and ask what God might be crucifying.” The Great Teacher, Insecurity

Remember: write a comment for a chance to win Kate Hurley’s book!

Blind Dating and Your Myers Briggs Type

I have been a personality-type geek for a long time, and I’ve always wondered how your particular personality plays into your dating style. So I’m over the moon to be able to share this chart with you, showing how each personality type might respond to a blind date. (Disclaimer: Note that my last name is not Myers or Briggs, so please don’t hold either of them responsible if your description doesn’t match up to your own dating experiences.)

I’d love to hear what your personality type is and if this description fits you! (If you don’t know your personality type, you can take a Myers Briggs type quiz.)

 

Blind Dating Myers Briggs jpg

Overcoming Shame

OvercomerI suppose it could be argued that every life stage opens the door for feelings of shame to flood in. When we hit middle school, we become uber-aware of how we measure up (or don’t) to our peers. When we’re in high school, our hearts open to shame over a myriad of things: how we perform in school, how we’re perceived by the opposite sex, how we look compared to the girl on the cover of Seventeen.

And shame, as it turns out, doesn’t graduate. When we get married, we come face-to-face with having someone see all the parts of us, even the parts we try to hide. When we become mothers, we wonder if we will pass on our insecurities to our daughters.

I could be wrong here, but there may be no place where shame is as rampant as in the dating world. There’s something about putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable in front of someone you’re trying to impress that seems to push all our shame buttons. Especially in the early stages of dating, it’s risky business. You are entrusting your heart to someone you barely know—someone who has the power to stomp on that tender heart.

Having been on more than my share of blind dates, I know well that feeling of shame that bubbles up when the guy you like doesn’t call you back for a second date. You can’t help but wonder what it is about you that isn’t good enough or likable enough.

I wish I’d had Aubrey Sampson’s book Overcomer during my dating years, but it’s one we all need as women, no matter our life stage. It offers a vulnerable, tender look into shame and how it affects us as women—and how it affects our relationships and our faith. Aubrey speaks words of truth to counteract the lies of culture and the lies of the enemy, and her words are balm to wounded souls.

Here is a sneak peek into Aubrey’s wonderful book:

You—with your specific body type, skin color, facial features, personality, gifts, and passions—are a unique and living reflection of God, designed to carry the image of his love to the world. You were made in his image, but more powerfully still, you were made to be his. You belong to God, not to shame.

Have you ever felt shame over something that wasn’t your fault? What helps you counteract shame . . . for yourself or your daughter or someone else you love?

Be sure to comment below . . . I’m giving away a free copy of Overcomer to one lucky commenter!

Laughing at Our Stories

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Confession: I’m a recovering serious person. I used to take things uber-seriously. (Sometimes I still do, but I’m getting serious about lightening up.) I took my failures seriously. I took God seriously. And most of all, I took myself seriously. And while it’s certainly important to give our best effort to our work, our relationships, and our faith, I think sometimes the best thing we can do is laugh.

I think God himself has a sense of humor . . . not a twisted, sardonic sense of humor, but a delightful, belly-laughing kind. And I’m convinced that while he cares about my problems, sometimes he pats me on the head and says, “Oh, child, try to lighten up a little. Someday this isn’t going to seem like The End of the World. I promise, one day you’ll be able to laugh about this.”

Laughter doesn’t always come easily, but it may be a discipline every bit as much as prayer and study. In fact, sometimes laughter is the most spiritual thing we can do. Laughter is one of the best ways to unburden our souls and ease the load of another.

Laughter is carbonated holiness.
Anne Lamott

Over the course of my eight flopped blind dates, I did my share of tear-shedding, especially when I felt rejected or when I wondered if God would ever answer my longing for someone to share life with. But I learned something else too: sometimes it was okay—healthy, even—to laugh. The best thing I could do for my soul in those moments of embarrassment and/or disappointment was to embrace my story, quirks and pitfalls and all, and laugh.

So now I’d love to hear from you. What’s YOUR date story that you can laugh about now, in retrospect? Here’s an added challenge: see if you can share your story in 20 words or less.

Here are a few examples to get you started. (Full stories included in my book!)

  • Got a theological grilling from the guy before he’d progress to date #2. Eschatology + Caesar wrap = indigestion.
  • Off-duty limo driver made me sit in the backseat. Had our first conversation through the rearview mirror.

Okay, your turn! I’ll give away a free copy of my book to someone who shares their story!

Bonus: If you’d like to share your stories in person (or hear other people’s stories), please join us for a Girls’ Morning Out at Prairie Path Books in Wheaton. There will be coffee, chocolate, stories, and laughs . . . plus free giveaways! Hope you can join us!

Thank You for the Book-Love!

I’m supposed to be the one with the words, seeing as how I’m a writer and all. But I can’t quite seem to find the words for this post today. I want to say thank you, but that doesn’t seem adequate for the gratitude that’s overflowing to the point that it’s liable to come out my ears at some point. book signing 3

So I’ll do my best here, and please forgive me for not doing justice to the occasion. Thank you to each person who was at my book signing this weekend and to those of you who were supporting me from a distance.

The nice folks at Barnes & Noble assured me that we’d have more than enough chairs and books, but they had clearly never seen the likes of my people. You all are amazing—thank you for showing up and showering me with so much love (and for clearing out all the books in this zip code). If you are one of the people who didn’t get a copy, let me know and I’d be honored to sign one for you another time.

book signing 1It was incredible to look up from my reading and see people from so many corners of my life . . . college friends, work friends, book club friends, old friends, new friends, aunts and uncles, my supportive parents, my amazing husband (who even coordinated his outfit to match mine), and kind strangers who probably couldn’t concentrate on their shopping above all the racket.

At one point I looked up to see my 94-year-old grandmother holding my one-month-old nephew, and it was all I could do to hold myself together. (While neither of them may be the exact demographic I was targeting, I was amazed to be surrounded by multiple generations of love and support.)

So thanks to all of you for helping launch this book into the world. I love you all!

Launches and Other Squeamish Things

They call it a book launch, and launch seems to be the right word. I feel a littleB&N like a baby bird who was quite comfy in her nest and who, come to think of it, is actually a little afraid of heights. But birds aren’t supposed to stay hunkered in their nests, and stories aren’t supposed to stay locked inside people’s heads. So ready or not, it’s time to launch this book into the world.

I have to admit this process comes with trepidation, because I don’t want this to be about me. As I wrote this book, I pictured one precious person reading it, hoping it would connect with them. I want every page to say, “You are not alone in this. It’s okay to hope again. And God loves you more than you can imagine.”

I would be honored if my book could come alongside you as a friend for this part of your journey, whatever journey you’re on, and wherever your journey takes you.

And if that requires a little squeamishness for me as I teeter on the edge of the nest, I’m willing to do it.

Squeamish Thing #1: My life is literally an open book.

I will be at the Barnes and Noble in Geneva Commons tomorrow (Saturday, February 6) at 2:00 p.m. I’ll be doing a reading, answering questions, and introducing some of the real behind-the-scenes heroes of the book.

Squeamish Thing #2: There is no editing on the air.

I was interviewed on the Debbie Chavez Show earlier this week. Here’s what I learned about live radio along the way:

  1. Always have water on hand. Editors/writers don’t do a lot of talking in a given day, so after 45 minutes of chatting, I felt like I’d just hiked the Sahara.
  2. Wear a sweatband. I do realize sweatbands went the way of double-layered socks in the ’80s, but I should have worn one anyway. Nothing like talking about your dating life on the air to make you a little clammy.
  3. You can edit books, but not airwaves. I’m pretty sure I got myself tongue tied on more than one occasion, but unlike words on the screen, there’s no delete key on the radio!

If you missed the interview and would like to hear it, mishaps and all, you can listen to Debbie’s show online.

Squeamish Thing #3: Seeing a cartoon version of yourself!

The kind folks at Tyndale House created a charming trailer for my book. I won’t tell you how many takes were required for my voiceover, but let’s just say I don’t think acting is in my near future.

Thanks to the creative team that made the I Was Blind (Dating), But Now I See trailer!

Hope to see you Saturday, whether in person or online!