• Blog
  • Meet Stephanie
  • Writings
  • Blind Dating
  • Speaking
  • Book Club
  • Archives
  • Get in Touch

Stephanie Rische

Blogger and Writer: Capturing Stories of God's Grace

May 8, 2012

God’s Tear Jar

My husband, Daniel, has given me many gifts in the nine months we’ve been married, but one of the most gracious is the way he handles my tears.

Over the years I’ve prided myself in my ability to handle things pretty stoically, at least to all watching eyes. But somehow since saying, “I do,” I’ve found I’m much leakier than I used to be—perhaps because I’ve found in Daniel such a safe place.

One of my favorite images in the Psalms is the picture David paints in Psalm 56 of God collecting all our tears in a bottle. David was no stranger to sadness. For all that his life was charmed—what with giant killing and a promotion from shepherd to king—he still had plenty to feel down about along the way.

It seems significant that David wrote about God’s tear jar when he did: just after being rejected by two communities. First, by King Saul, whom David had served faithfully, both with his music and in battle, risking his very life only to be repaid with a spear aimed at his head. On the heels of that rejection came another one: this time from the Philistines, whom David had been fighting with side-by-side since his exile. It was in that moment of feeling alone that he cried out to God:

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
—Psalm 56:8

When I picture heaven, I envision one room that’s filled with shelf after shelf of jars—jars of all sizes, shapes, and colors. Each one is labeled with a name, and on the inside are all the tears that person sheds during his or her time on earth.

Something I love about the tear jar image is what it says about God’s view of our suffering. He doesn’t tell us to suck it up; he doesn’t instruct us to plaster a fake smile on our faces; he doesn’t wag his finger and rebuke us for being babies. He tenderly collects every tear, validating each stab of pain we feel. No teardrop is too bitter. No sorrow too small. Each one is lovingly guided into the jar.

When Daniel and I first got married, I found myself frequently apologizing for my tears. Especially when they felt weak or unnecessary or just plain silly. But each time Daniel would put his arms around me and find the nearest napkin or paper towel or sleeve to wipe my runny mascara. Then he’d say, “You don’t have to be sorry. The Daniel-and-Stephanie team is okay with tears.”

God’s team, gratefully, is the same. The jars in heaven with your name on it is proof.

“Where there are tears, we should pay attention.”
—Frederick Buechner

I’ve taken the challenge of reading the Bible chronologically this year and tracing the thread of grace through it. These musings are prompted by my reading. I’d love to have you join me: One Year Bible reading plan.

22 Comments Filed Under: Life Tagged With: marriage, pain, Psalms, tears
Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on email
Email
Share on twitter
Twitter

About Stephanie

I think that glimmers of grace are all around us, and I'd love to share those stories with you. I hope you'll grab a cup of coffee and join me at StephanieRische.com.

Quote of the Week

“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”
—Madeleine L’Engle

Discussion

  1. Dan Elliott says

    May 8, 2012 at 8:26 am

    I love this declaration: “You don’t have to be sorry. The Daniel-and-Stephanie team is okay with tears.”

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 8, 2012 at 5:09 pm

      Thanks, Dan. I’m blessed indeed.

      Reply
  2. alice Teisan says

    May 8, 2012 at 9:08 am

    Thanks for sharing. You do such a great job of combining your own vulnerability while inviting your readers into being okay with their vulnerabilities.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm

      Thanks, Alice. You may know the guy I’m writing about!

      Reply
      • alice Teisan says

        May 8, 2012 at 7:02 pm

        I do know that guy and he is quite the tender hearted guy. You both hit the Jesus Jackpot when you found each other. Oh and I hit that jackpot too as a result.

        Reply
  3. eternalencouragement says

    May 8, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    This blog is absolutely beautiful. It took me many years to “get it” and understand that God is OK with our shedding tears. The jar shelves in heaven are such an appropriate illustration! Thank you for sharing. God bless you!

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 9, 2012 at 8:05 am

      Thanks for your note, eternalencouragement! I enjoyed discovering your blog too!

      Reply
  4. Nancy Rische says

    May 8, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    He learned it from his Dad.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 9, 2012 at 8:04 am

      Nancy, I’m grateful for the example he has from both his parents. 🙂

      Reply
  5. studiosmith says

    May 9, 2012 at 9:05 am

    I have a lot of jars. I should have used one for this.

    I also appreciate “The Daniel-and-Stephanie team is okay with tears” comment.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

      Thanks, Barry. And yes…you do have a lot of cool jars. 🙂

      Reply
  6. maggierowe says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Stephanie, I loved this post because one of my favorite mementoes from my trip to Israel back in the 90s is a replica tear flask. Our guide explained that the Israelites (presumably women but perhaps men as well) so valued tears that they were captured and preserved in small glass bottles with a stopper, which is why David made the reference to “God’s bottle” that he did. It’s also speculated that the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears may have actually poured out the content of her flask on her Lord and Savior. The old saints used to call weeping “the charism of tears.” Big girls (and boys) DO cry – thanks for acknowledging that it can be a holy function.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 11, 2012 at 8:08 am

      Maggie, what a wonderful insight! That gives even more depth to the story about the woman who washed Jesus’ feet…that it was tears she’d been storing up for years.

      Reply
  7. tiffanie says

    May 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    i like the Daniel-and-Stephanie team!

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      May 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      Thanks, Tiffie! I think Blake and Daniel have some things in common…

      Reply
  8. dam1550 says

    October 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Stephanie, this is one of my favorite Bible images also. I hope you don’t mind but I used some of your blog post to comfort my daughter and her friends who lose a so-loved family member- their dog, Mickey who is leaving this world today after his favorite breakfast and a run on his favorite beach-Moonstone Beach in Northern California. Thank you for the mirror of your heart to share today.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Rische says

      October 21, 2012 at 3:01 pm

      Thank you for your note! I am honored to have you share this post with your daughter. I know the pain of losing a dog–they truly become part of the family. I just said a prayer for your daughter, that God will bring her comfort and remind her that he’s with her and that he sees her tears.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Songs of Lament « Stephanie Rische says:
    May 25, 2012 at 8:15 am

    […] of joy; others pound out refrains of anger. And then there are the ones that are pretty much sobs put to […]

    Reply
  2. Once Upon a Time, I Wore a Pretty White Dress… « Stephanie Rische says:
    August 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    […] I was asked before the wedding, I assured people that I wasn’t the crying type, and I was confident I wouldn’t need my waterproof mascara. But the moment my eyes locked on […]

    Reply
  3. A Year of Stubbing My Toe on Grace « Stephanie Rische says:
    January 1, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    […] 8. God’s Tear Jar […]

    Reply
  4. The Gift of Pain « Stephanie Rische says:
    January 11, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    […] been slammed hard in the car door, and it throbbed like the dickens (for more on that, take a look here). For the most part I nursed my wounds, grumbling and complaining, scheming about how to […]

    Reply
  5. How Long Is Five Years? says:
    August 17, 2016 at 8:13 am

    […] things that would make no sense to the general population, and long enough to cry a jar full of tears . . . some in spite of each other and some because of each […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

welcome_stephanie_rische

Welcome!

I’m so glad you stopped by. I hope you will find this to be a place where the coffee’s always hot, there’s always a listening ear, and there’s grace enough to share.
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Personal Delivery

Sign up here to have every new post, special newsletters, and book club news delivered straight to your inbox. (No carrier pigeons will be harmed in this delivery.)

Free eBook

20 Days of Prayers...just for you!
Submit your email to receive a FREE copy!

    Recently

    • To My Son on His 2nd Birthday
    • Everlasting Arms
    • A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday
    • A Letter to My Son on His First Day of Preschool
    • Buy the Land

    Book Club

    • August 2018
    • July 2017
    • April 2017
    • November 2016
    • August 2016
    • March 2016
    • March 2016
    • December 2015
    • September 2015
    • July 2015
    • May 2015
    • January 2015

    Favorite Categories

    • Friday Favorites
    • Grace
    • Literature
    • Scripture Reflections
    • Writing

    Other Places to Find Me

    • Faith Happenings
    • CT Women
    • Boundless
    • Single Matters

    Connect With Me

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Pinterest

    All Content © 2010-2014 by Stephanie Rische • Blog Design & Development by Sarah Parisi of Parisi Images • Additional Site Credits